Teen Sex

[Duke]

It's a topic that many parents are too timid to approach their children about. Parents want to view their children as babies even after they grow a pot belly, go bald, or have their first bypass. This means that they risk missing being there for their kids at their most critical stages.

Enter puberty, enter hormones, enter sexuality, and enter the internet. There is so much sex in our environment today. It's enough to give a geezer a stroke and shock the living crappola out of your parents but its likely, if your a teen or younger, you're probably used to it. In fact, you likely don't notice it as much as we do. That fact in itself scares the parents but not always enough to sit down and discuss it.

MSNBC News tackles the issue of teen sex and gives us all some advice on how to deal with it. It's a good read and helps to educate people of all ages. Give it a look and more importantly, discuss it as a family.

[hornetguy]

excellent article Duke. Good read, and how true it is!

[Duke]

Ya it's a fantastic article actually. My daughter is already 9 and I'm worried that she knows stuff. What worries me more is what she doesn't know and what she may do to try and learn. Personally, I can't remember when I became truly aware of the opposite sex and stopped thinking (girls, yuck) but it was definately pre-teen.

[hornetguy]

She probably does know more than you would like, but that's today's world. It's scary to hear teh stories from my sister about the conversations she hears my nephews (8 and 9) have in the back of the car because they don't know she can hear them. And then, the stories about Daycare where they have 5th graders with 3rd graders together is scary. The 5th graders are so mean and cruel to all of them. Anywho, they hear about more than any of us knew at their age!

[Duke]

Well she has access to this site so hopefully, when things get up and running, she'll learn enough here to feel confident to ask questions from her mom and I. The main concern we have as parents is we see our children as babies no matter how old they are and therefor never truly realize whats going on in their lives. It's not for lack of trying.

[hornetguy]

Originally Posted by Duke

The main concern we have as parents is we see our children as babies no matter how old they are and therefor never truly realize whats going on in their lives. It's not for lack of trying.

Aw so true. But it is sometimes better that way imo. But then I set my own limits that I won't pass, and they are close to my parents, so my values and ideas are based off them. And I have no reason to rebel. Aw! possibly a helpful hint.

DON'T GIVE THEM REASON TO REBEL!! Be lenient, but not a pushover, allow to pass the normal limits/curfews every so often to allow us to feel like we aren't tied down, then we feel no reason to rebel, already happy.

Of course that is rare, but always give a try!

[Duke]

I believe my daughter and I have a great relationship. We have a simple understanding, we're both the boss. We come to decisions together and have a great time every minute we spend with each other. I have no limits (so far) because I rebelled to any restrictions my parents had and I'd expect the same from my child. Also, there's really no reason yet to impose any restrictions as she's not being influenced greatly by outside sources. When that changes, I'll worry more (not that I'm not worried to death already lol).

All I can do is continue to talk to her about everything that she wants to talk about and hope that I've been a good enough, non-judgemental nor overly-opinionated parent where she'll continue to talk to me into her teens and beyond.

BTW, nice sig.

[hornetguy]

lol got bored and made that sig yesterday!

Now would definately not be an issue for limits, but when she does hit her teenage years with going out of the house more, driving, late evening things, give limits, but allow them to be broken from time to time. That's how my parents do it, since I don't "break" them often, I pretty much am allowed to do as I wish within reason. That's more when it's needed. That's also good to hear about the relationship you two have, I had that with mine, and still do, as well!

[rockycore]

When she does hit teen years, i think its smart to be both a friend and a father. I know so many kids who have teen sex and they dont care. I set my own limits and me and my gf wont go past them till we are oldier. I think as a parent you shouldnt spy on your kids or ban them from dating as that will push them farther away. but try to stay on their level so they trust you and talk to you.

[Duke]

Thats all I've ever done and will continue to do so. I refuse to impose unrealistic limits on my daughter because (if she's anything like I was) she'll only rebel if she's pissed off enough. I love her too much to push her away and hope she will realize that when it comes to difficult decisions such as this.

[Isis]

I agree with hornet guy...If parents will let us have our space but at the same time give us guidelines then we will be happy. Becaus sometimes I feel like Im an adult and I dont need ANYONES help but sometimes I do need a little help but i feel a little to mature to ask for it...i dont know i ANYONE can connect with me on that last statemant but it was a try... :doh:

[Duke]

As parents though, how are we expected to know that? We can't read minds any better than you can so we can't always tell if you want us there or not.

Just curious.

[Star]

I think what it boils down to is trust. If you trust your child and your child wants to keep that trust then it should be easy to talk to them and give them the space they need.

however, if the child really destroys the trust, that's really hard to earn back, believe me. If there isn't any trust, there won't be much space for anything.

[Merika]

I think as a parent you have to weigh out if they just DID something stupid or if they ARE really stupid! Just joking!