Are Kids Growing Up Too Fast?

[Luba]

I posted a disturbing story "Crash Kills Young Teen" and it's bothered me ever since.

When I was twelve, I don't mind admitting I still was into playing with dolls, not talking about dating or relationships. Are parents and kids communicating about enjoying their young lives to the fullest, kids acting like kids, instead of growing up so quickly?

Childhood is SO precious a time and goes so quickly as it is, why not just be a kid and love it?

[Dwoing]

Wish I could answer that truthfully but I cant.
I know what you mean about kids growing up too fast, but I can honestly blame parents. Of course, It's not a parents fault if a child matures quicker then another but a lot of parents are too busy to notice or just plainly don't care.

At my high school a lot of teenagers push eachother to grow up. Its a constant competition, if someone gets a job at 14 everyone else does, if someone starts wearing skinny jeans and converse everyone else does....

I am not saying it`s right but EVERYONE does it at my school, including me.
Girls are expecially pushed to grow up really fast, because we care the most.

[Vautrin]

Originally Posted by Dwoing

I am not saying it`s right but EVERYONE does it at my school, including me.
Girls are expecially pushed to grow up really fast, because we care the most.

You will so love college. Where the guys STILL act like 12 year olds.

[Dwoing]

lol

[Meanon]

The average age of menarche in the US is now 12. Emotional maturity takes longer. I agree that dating at 12 is too early, but the decline in the age of adolescence is bound to have an effect on mind as well as body.

[TKDLady]

I personally blame the "early maturity" on all the hormones that are put into our food. Beef, chicken, pork. All are given hormones to make them bigger, produce more milk, etc. That has to have an affect on human growth. Too bad the emotional maturity part doesn't really happen when the physical maturity does.

[Duke]

I don't think emotional and physical maturity work together. If you look at your average woman, she acts more mature at 4 years old than your average male does at 18.

I have seen a connection between early maturity and too much responsibility as a child. For instance, if you make your child take care of the household they will likely mature quicker than a child that is responsible for nothing at home. Personally I don't know if this is a good thing or not because there are pros and cons to everything.

I'm also unsure how this works over the long term because there's only so much structure a child can take before they rebel. It's funny how stupid some parents are by overloading their children with responsibility oblivious of the pressures that child may experience outside the home (school, extra curricular activities, hobbies).

For the most part I see parents as the primary control factor of how their child matures.

[gabbylove143]

Yeah, I believe they are. My niece, who's about 6 or 7, acts like she's a teenager already. She's already complaining about her WEIGHT! It's so sad. I don't know how to handle the situation.

[Duke]

Originally Posted by gabbylove143

Yeah, I believe they are. My niece, who's about 6 or 7, acts like she's a teenager already. She's already complaining about her WEIGHT! It's so sad. I don't know how to handle the situation.

First off, welcome to Lifesupporters.com gabby, great to have you join us

As for your question on child self image, I don't know if there is one answer that will solve your niece's image self image issues. The only thing I can say from experience is to not allow negativity to gain a foothold in the first place. I've made sure to tell my daughter she's beautiful (inside and out) from the time she was very young but I also make fun of her ears, nose and little brain sometimes too.

I make sure the beautiful comments are done so in a manner that is truly backed with love and respect for my child and the teasing is meant just to "toughen her up". Of course being a girl means that she will always find something she wants to change (her hair, her thighs, etc.), all I can do as a parent is ensure that whatever she does she is doing for her and not because she feels she has to do so to fit in or conform to someone else's ideals of what makes a woman beautiful.

I also talk to my daughter a lot and try to understand what she's feeling and why she's feeling it. I don't judge her based off what she says nor do I impose my will or bias because all it does is undermine her trust in my insight or opinion.

Personally I think the best thing you can do for your child is:

1. Listen first
2. Try to understand
3. Offer insight if asked
4. Never, ever, judge.

[TKDLady]

Keeping an open line of communication is great but it is also important to consider their surrounds and the people around them. If a girl's mother is overly concerned with her own weight and how she looks it doesn't matter how much she talks to her daughter about it. The daughter will learn, through her mother's actions, that to look good is all important. It doesn't help to have anorexic teen roll models splashed all over the TV and in magazines either. Our society has become so superficial and materialistic. It is really sad.

[MichelleB]

I think media has to do with kids growing up a lot faster than before

[Duke]

Originally Posted by MichelleB

I think media has to do with kids growing up a lot faster than before

That may be true but when you consider how many parents use their TV as a babysitter it becomes less and less surprising why our children are influenced by the idiot box and beyond.