Dating joke

[Vautrin]

Now, is pizza fine or not?

[Luba]

Originally Posted by Vautrin

Now, is pizza fine or not?

As long as I don't have to cook, pizza is just fine...PROVIDING it has toppings I like!

[Luba]

A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her: "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc.

His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names."

"Well, to be honest, I've forgotten her name."

[Luba]

When does a Woman enjoy a Man's Company?

[Vautrin]

When she owns it.

[Luba]

Originally Posted by Luba

When does a Woman enjoy a Man's Company?

Originally Posted by Vautrin

When she owns it.

That's better than the original answer which is when he owns it!

[Dwoing]

Vautrin knows all lol

[TKDLady]

Ya, Vautrin is a smarty pants!!!

[IR_Efrem]

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't…There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.

I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's desire to please her man, by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

It isn't to long after a man has been married that he realizes "Until death do us part" becomes less of a promise and more of a goal.

[Dwoing]

I love the last one...

[Duke]

OMGLMFAO, those are classics IR

...not exactly female friendly.

[Dwoing]

You trashed us

[Duke]

You'll find dating/marriage jokes always trash one of the sexes, these happen to be the men friendly jokes. I'm sure sooner or later someone will post a bunch of men bashing jokes for everyones enjoyment.