Dating: the definition of i'm too old for you

sweetbilly · 01-28-2006, 01:51 PM

How many people think an older woman dating a younger man is a workable relationship, and why? Explain why you do or do not think it's a relationship which is possible. Is it ok for an older man to date a younger woman? Once again why or why not? If the younger man was in love with the older woman , or vice versa, and your answer was "it isn't a workable relationship" would love negate commonly held stereotypical age beliefs? Why or why not? or should age play any role in relationships at all?

Vautrin · 01-28-2006, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetbilly

How many people think an older woman dating a younger man is a workable relationship, and why?

How much difference do you mean with older?

A couple of years is no problem at all, as both persons can in principle relate well to each other. As they have had similar experiences in life (for instance, both were in college when the Discovery exploded). Of course there can be large differences (interests, ambition), but these would prove to be as hard to overcome were the relationship between people without the age issue.

The greater the difference in number of years, the less likely it is that there is not a mismatch in similarity of experiences, ambitions, interests et cetera.

Quote:

Is it ok for an older man to date a younger woman? Once again why or why not?

It is acceptable. But if the guy were 80, and the woman were 20, it is for most people not hard to come up with the idea, that the woman is dating for his cash - whether it is true or not.

Quote:

If the younger man was in love with the older woman , or vice versa, and your answer was "it isn't a workable relationship" would love negate commonly held stereotypical age beliefs?

For yourself (as partner in the relationship) , of course it would.
However for people who meet this strange couple, they are bound to think that something else was the reason the two of them were dating.

Quote:

Or should age play any role in relationships at all?

Age should definitely play a role in a relationship, IMO. There must be enough common ground, and enough similarity to make the relationship work. But then I am already using age as an index for wisdom, and life experiences. That may not be valid though.
And of course, we must not forget the legal aspects.

And as an aside, I think that dating under 20 is useless.

People tend to change a lot when they are in their teens, and only the occasional relationship from highschool turns into a happy marriage (it even seems more highschool relationships turn into marriage because of unexpected pregnancy). And relationships also mean a lot of responsibility, that kids are often not able to handle too well. And not every relationship is healthy, but especially in their teens, kids are impressionable, even moreso than afterward.

Duke · 01-28-2006, 04:01 PM

I said it's acceptable to date an older woman. Many of the women I've dated are older than me, some as many as 10 years older.

I do not agree with the third option though because that can mean younger, way younger and I don't think an old fart has any right to date anyone in their teens or, God forbid, younger.

sweetbilly · 01-28-2006, 05:50 PM

OMG NO, i didn't mean anyone of illegal age. I just thought i would point that out so no one gets the wrong idea here. I simply meant two consenting adults of a substantial difference in age, LOL.

Star · 01-28-2006, 10:13 PM

well, here in ontario (don't know about the whole canada - i think it's all the same though) a 14 year old can be with a person of any age. could be with a person of 60 if the teen chooses.

The youngest that i ever went to dating a guy younger then me was 1 year younger. most of my boyfriends were my age or 3 years older. krystal's father was 5 years older then me though. i think it depends on the person myself. Myself, i wouldn't date a guy that was more then 1 year younger then me. too immature for me nor would i date a guy 10 years older. i'd feel like i was dating my uncle or something. not for me.

I didn't vote in the poll because the questions weren't clear enough of the age differences.

Weiser · 01-28-2006, 10:16 PM

I like older women...I was 22 and dating a 30 year old austrailian girl. I also hooked up with a 30 yr old co-worker. Sure I didn't love them but whatever.

Star · 01-28-2006, 10:25 PM

my brother is 22 and dating a 34 year old. i'm not too happy about that, i have to admit. She's never married, has no kids and seems extremely superficial. it won't last, i know it won't. she loves to spend, he likes to save. he owns a house, has his own business, doing very very well and she works in a supermarket living in an apartment. she's alright to talk to but you know, it just doesn't seem right to me. she's as old as my brother's wife! I wonder why a woman of that age would want a 22 year old guy? i feel it has a lot to do with immaturity on the older one of the two.

Merika · 01-29-2006, 07:33 AM

I think two people of any age difference can fall in love or at least in lust. LOL! To me, the problem would occur if there were age related health issues. if the guy wanted children and the woman felt she was too old and realizing having 'joint couple' friends....may not be easy. Other than that....I don't think age has much to do with anything.

I've spent the last 7 years dating guys who were much younger than I was. Mainly because I lived/worked near a base and most of the guys around here are younger. They are the only guys I meet. I can't remember us ever discussing age. You ask someone out because you want to hang out with them because you think you would have a good time or stuff in common. It's not really an age factor.

I was engaged once and he was 12 years younger than I was. Age was never even a consideration either way.