Peer pressure, bullying and you

Duke · 08-30-2004, 02:07 AM

I was a fairly average student in high school. Didn't do much to make me stand out in the crowd and really only participated in tennis. My friends were a little out there and huge Rambo, death by lead type nut bags but, for the most part, pretty normal. Not many of us had spiky, off colored, off length hair but then that may have been more the times than anything as we're talking about the mid 80's.

I can say the kids in my school that tended to receive more attention (good and bad) had much more character than I did. By character I mean they acted in a certain way, dressed different, or were much more vocal, not that this is a bad thing. Of course when you chose to stand out from the crowd it tends to bring extra attention to yourself, not all of it being positive.

We also had the typical social class structure, as I'm sure they do in today's school and it's likely to remain that way far into the future. Classes such as:
- rich kids
- poor kids
- jocks
- skids
- stoners
- potheads
- tramps
- nerds
- brainiacs

I'm sure there's plenty more but they escape me for now. The funny thing is, that I knew kids that fit into one or more of each class and fit in fine with the crowd while others were picked on, teased, bullied, etc. The funny thing is the kids that had the worse time of school were the ones that drew the most attention to themselves or took it too seriously.

Where am I going with this? The only thing I can suggest to anyone who may be experiencing trouble in school due to peer pressure or bullying is to learn to laugh at yourself. Be at peace with yourself as much as possible and try not to sweat the little stuff or overreact. Kids can be extremely cruel and many seem to attack once they sense weak prey. Unfortunately school isn't as much about learning to many as it is about where they fit in the social structure.

Another thing that will help is if you are experiencing too much pressure; try talking to someone about it. It doesnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢Â‚Â¬Ã¢Â„Â¢t have to be a parent. Just communicating with someone can open up a world of ideas you never considered and help immensely. ItÃƒÂ¢Ã¢Â‚Â¬Ã¢Â„Â¢s also handy to try and look at yourself through others eyes.

Star · 06-17-2005, 01:03 PM

I was a bully and got bullied in grade school.

I was the bully at school but at home, in my neighbourhood, i got bullied by a couple of girls.

I stopped bullying in the 8th grade. it lasted about 2 years for me. it didn't make me feel good, in fact, i remember feeling really bad for the girl that i tormented. If I ever see her again, i will apologize big time for hurting her the way that i did. I used words.

the 2 girls that bullied me went to the same high school i did. One lived down the street from me and the other one lived the next street over so avoiding them was very hard. I don't even know why i was so scared of them at that time but i was. I used to make sure that i left for school before them and left school after them. it worked for most of the school year then i changed schools for the 10th grade.

It didn't leave any long lasting affects on me. I chalk it to a childhood experience and moved on. had no more problems after that with bullying.

I was never one to give in to peer pressure. I had friends from all groups but mostly hung out with the party animals. I said no to drugs and had no problems. my friends understood that i wasn't going to do drugs and left it at that. no pressure at all.

the one thing i was pressured into doing was smoking cigarettes. that happened in the 7th grade. a friend of mine wouldn't leave me alone about it in the bathroom of a dance so i gave in and smoked my first cigarette. been smoking ever since. Maybe that incident made me decide not to give in to peer pressure after that? who knows.

I think the thing to do when you're being bullied is pretend that you're not scared. bullies feed on your fear, makes them feel powerful.

To deal with peer pressure is as easy as saying no. if the people that are pressuring are your true friends, they will understand and respect your decision and not pressure you. who needs fake friends anyways? nobody does.

Merika · 06-19-2005, 10:15 AM

I was too much of a ninny to bully anyone. I can't remember anyone ever doing it to me either. Then again, I went to a real rural school until I transferred to the High School where my Mom taught at. After that, I can remember a few racially motivated riots....but no one ever bothered me personally.

My kid's both go to schools where it happens often though and it's also a problem within the neighborhood. I don't worry about my kid's getting bullied....since both of them would beat the crap out of someone who tried....but peer pressure is ALWAYS a concern for a parent.

I don't know...I guess each kid has to find their own way and figure out what is more important to them. After Jackson got arrested....I can say that BOTH of my kids seemed to straighten right out and realized there was a great price to pay for breaking rules. Since then, I've had a minimum of problems with either of them.

Vautrin · 06-20-2005, 07:07 AM

For most of my school career I was bullied. The first 6 years were the worst. I was a bit of a brainiac, and also a bit of a geek.

But after these years, and a switch to secondary school things changed. I met more than one person with an actual brain. Of course there was a lot of banter, but I could almost always riposte well, without it being negativistic. Those were really enjoyable times.

I was always an outsider, and I liked it that way, especially as people knew that was normal for me. Still they made an effort to get me involved a bit more

I did not start smoking, weed or whatever on school. Still I don't smoke a thing. The only bad habit I started on secondary school was laziness. But that was, because the education was not challenging at all.

Stone · 06-20-2005, 08:03 AM

I was Bullied in Middle School then became a Bully in high School I started dating Seinor Boys when I was in high school and started smoking pot and doing drugs my freshman year now that I look back it was because I was trying to keep up with my new friends that we're 18 and I was only 14 but I learned a VERY IMPORTANT LESSOn now that I am a parent, I will not let my children date untill there JR year of school and that's if they are lucky LMAO

Duke · 06-21-2005, 01:15 AM

Funny that this topic is seeing life nearly a year after it was created.

Star · 06-21-2005, 02:47 PM

cool huh? :wink:

Merika · 06-21-2005, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duke

Funny that this topic is seeing life nearly a year after it was created.

Much like my love life!
OK...just kidding.

Star · 06-21-2005, 06:52 PM

Duke · 06-21-2005, 08:26 PM

Poor Merika, we still love you it's just a little less intimate and everyone here is wearing clothes, well, most everyone.

Luba · 06-24-2005, 01:27 PM

I love the way this Website takes a serious topic, stories are shared, and then, what we all need most, HUMOUR is added!
My bullying experience was MANY years ago, don't ask how many, when we walked a mile to catch the school bus; yes, it's true, only it wasn't uphill through the snow and we had no shoes, ha, ha.
My cousin kept taking my lunch...the weird thing was he was big and fat and his Dad worked and they had money, and my dad didn't and we were poor!
He must have liked my weiner sandwiches.....

Duke · 06-29-2005, 09:03 PM

I can't even comment on the weiner sandwiches as most of you already know where my mind is :?

Star · 06-29-2005, 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duke

I can't even comment on the weiner sandwiches as most of you already know where my mind is :?

of course we know. where else would your mind be? :P

Merika · 06-30-2005, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duke

I can't even comment on the weiner sandwiches as most of you already know where my mind is :?

Yep the story of my life.....two minute miracles with weiners.....LMAO!