Thoughts on Spanking - Pro and Con

[John]

Thank you both but the power is taken out of the pain when it is talked about.

A lesson I've learned several times in life.

[Meanon]

The thing is, parents often don't spank when they have made a decision to and are feeling calm. They often spank when they are at the end of their tether and give in to the impulse. With most people who have good relationships with their kids there is not much harm done. But there are a significant minority who have insufficient control where the line between punishment and abuse is blurred. I believe that the law as it stands in England (where any smacking is illegal) does not result in the prosecution of the many but protects the rights of the few who need it.

I don't spank my kids. They hate it when I get angry and that's enough of a reprimand to keep them in line. It may not be as easy with boys, or with more challenging children, but there is good research evidence that even in difficult cases there are alternative forms of discipline that are more effective.

[Fayebelle]

Originally Posted by Meanon

The thing is, parents often don't spank when they have made a decision to and are feeling calm. They often spank when they are at the end of their tether and give in to the impulse. With most people who have good relationships with their kids there is not much harm done. But there are a significant minority who have insufficient control where the line between punishment and abuse is blurred. I believe that the law as it stands in England (where any smacking is illegal) does not result in the prosecution of the many but protects the rights of the few who need it.

ALL punishments can be abused in this manner though.

[Scott]

Originally Posted by Meanon

They hate it when I get angry and that's enough of a reprimand to keep them in line. .

You get angry?

[Meanon]

Originally Posted by Fayebelle

ALL punishments can be abused in this manner though.

True, but the effects of physical abuse are so much more damaging

Originally Posted by Scott

You get angry?

LOL. You got me. I pretend, sometimes.

[Meanon]

Also I find it impossible to explain away why hurting someone is wrong if you then hurt someone as a punishment. But I know this is because I feel the need to explain everything, always. Others don't and their kids are fine and happy, I guess you just have to feel comfortable with the way you discipline your kids. Kids are resilient and respond well to consistency, above all else

[Scott]

Originally Posted by Meanon

LOL. You got me. I pretend, sometimes.

I knew it!!!!

[Fayebelle]

Originally Posted by Meanon

True, but the effects of physical abuse are so much more damaging

Studies have shown that emotional and mental abuse trigger the same areas of the brain as a physical blow. The lasting results are the exact same.

[Scott]

Originally Posted by Fayebelle

Studies have shown that emotional and mental abuse trigger the same areas of the brain as a physical blow. The lasting results are the exact same.

Bullshiite.

WTF is "emotional and mental abuse?"

I know what a "physical blow" is.....um...................I mean, well....um.....



nevermind.

[Duke]

Originally Posted by Fayebelle

Studies have shown that emotional and mental abuse trigger the same areas of the brain as a physical blow. The lasting results are the exact same.

This comes as no surprise to me at all. Mental abuse is the same as physical abuse only with a few less bruises.

...they are both cruel.

[Fayebelle]

Most people have a memory of when they were a child and somebody teased them- or belittled them- and it's that moment that REALLY sticks out in your mind.


When thinking about that moment- people have a physical response. They feel their physical self shrinking- their temperature changes- heart rate- everything is the same as remembering a time a person was struck.


The difference- not as many people have been hit to a level considered abuse.


Children who have been spanked as punishment (again NOT abused) do not have these reactions to the memory.

[Meanon]

That's interesting (the brain imaging results), but the long term effects on people are more complex than brain scans can predict. Both are harmful. Physical abuse rarely exists without emotional abuse, one compounds the other. In my experience, whilst people can be marked severely for life by emotional abuse, those with physical or sexual abuse as well have more severe problems.