Be honest with yourself

[Duke]

I can only speak from experience as my dad was a big alcoholic and still would be if it wasn't for some health problems. I never confronted how much his alcohol addiction bothered me and it bothers me to this day.

My mistake was never saying anything and now the damage is done. If you are bothered by a family members addictions, please be sure to discuss it with someone you trust. Believe me, bottling it up inside only does more harm than good and the harm is long term.

I am willing to listen to anything anyone has to say on the topic. I've learned a lot about my feelings on the matter and am more than willing to help you through your troubles.

Sincerely,

ken

[Wapwap]

I remember one thing real good when I was about 10/11 or something.

We were celebrating my grandmothers birthday with family on my fathers side (can't call it anymore, cus some things happened a few years later).

Anyway.. it was a little later in the evening, and my uncle (which is an *******) was sitting at the bar. All of sudden he falls off his bar stool, and passes out. I was like: WTF?

At that time I didn't know why he fell of his bar stool (my age you know).. later on I understood why.

Now.. his manouvre did something with me though.. it shocked me for sure.

[Star]

It took me a lot of years before I could forgive both my parents for being alcoholics while I was growing up.

I rarely brought anyone home (especially guys) to meet my parents because it was so embarassing. More so from my dad then my mother. I never knew what to expect when I came home.

My dad was a social drinker. He didn't drink at home unless he had his "drinking buddies" there with him and that didn't happen too often. My dad would leave early (about 3 to 4 hours) for work and wouldn't come home for 3 to 4 hours after work. When he got home, all hell broke loose. Lots of yelling and fighting in my house growing up.

My mother was a hidden drinker. She went out with "friends" to drink. She had a nasty attitude and I really did hate her growing up. She was the meanest witch on the face of this earth!

They are both sober now. My mother became accidentally pregnant when I was 17 and that's when she stopped her partying and hasn't drank since. My father also quit drinking when my youngest brother was about 8 or so. They are very good parents now and even better grand-parents to their granchildren (they now have 8 between 3 out of 4 of their kids).

My mother went to Al-Anon after she quit drinking so she can learn how to live with an alcoholic husband and I did go to Al-Ateen for a couple meetings. It was very helpful at that time for me.

I grew up knowing that my kids would have a way better childhood then I did; and they did.

[Merika]

My parents didn't drink, party or fight in front of the kids (they would go sit in the car). I thought this was hilarious when I was growing up. My brother and I would watch from the living room window and make up what we thought they were saying in our own 'pretend' version of the fight.

Through it all though ....I never thought my parents were happily married. I knew they stayed together because we were a family and that's what families were supposed to do. Even at a young age....I thought that was a stupid concept. I swore to myself I would never stay in a marriage out of obligation to the constitution of marriage.

Then I read about you guys and what you went through as kids....and I feel bad that I didn't appreciate my family as much as I should have.

[Star]

You know, I'm really proud of my parents though even if they weren't great when it mattered, while we grew up. They did the best they knew how back then so it's OK. We all turned out OK and have happy families of our own today.

They have lived through cheating on one another, alcohol abuse, physical abuse, seperation (when i was 15....I was so wishing for them to get a divorce then and they didn't....big disapointmanet at that time of my life), they were selfish (especially my mother), etc... and still married today. as a matter of fact, they just had their 41st anniversary in august of this year. They've been to marriage counceling (which did diddly squat). What brought them back to reality was quitting the drinking. I also made myself absent for a long period of time. Especially where my mom was concerned. I'd talk and see my dad regularly, but not my mom. Took longer to forgive her.

They have proven to me that love can concer all. Were they happy when I was growing up? of course not, how could they be with abuse in their lives but they are now. I'm happy that they never gave up on eachother. I'm happy that they finally remembered the reasons about eachother why they fell in love in the first place. I wouldn't trade them in for anything now. I'm really close to my dad and getting closer to my mom everyday.

I am the oldest in the family. My other 2 brothers haven't gone as far in the forgiving and forgetting department as i have yet. they will someday. My youngest brother (I have 3 younger brothers) had a great childhood so he was never affected. Lucky for him

[Duke]

If any of your brothers are Taurus' then they may never forgive and forget. I know I never will.

[Merika]

OFF TOPIC: You had a double post here Duke! I know you are the Spam King...but double posts don't count!

[Duke]

I think I had a server error or something and forgot to come back and check

[Merika]

SURE ya did!

BTW: They HAVE been bad tonight!

[Duke]

They've been bad since day one actually. Now with site traffic increasing and multiple users online at the same time, the errors are likely to increase instead of decrease :?

[Paul]

The company contacted me and asked me if I wanted my site transferred to another server to see if that helps, it would involve it being down for a few hours, I haven't gotten back to them yet.

[Duke]

As of yet, they haven't offered my that type of deal.

They had me run a .cmd scan of the connections between my comp