Verbal Abuse...

[F&L]

Originally Posted by Scott

Usually it goes something like this:

Me: I disagree
Her: Why, I am right
Me: I disagree BECAUSE I think you are wrong
Her: I have NEVER BEEN WRONG
ME: YOU HAVE BEEN WRONG BEFORE!
Her: NO I HAVE NOT!!
ME: YES YOU HAVE!!!

Her: Why are you yelling and being verbally abusive?


ME: I AM NOT.....I am not yelling
Her: Yes you WERE
ME: No, I just raised my voice
Her: You WERE YELLING
ME; No, If I WANTED TO YELL I"D BE TALKING LIKE THIS!!!

This is what's commonly refered to as a pissing match.

[Kleenex]

Originally Posted by Luba

My question is: Do you believe it's okay to live with a person if it's JUST verbal abuse, as the women say? Would you feel you deserved it as most abused women feel and just stay as long as you weren't hit or beaten? Would you document for someone, even if it wasn't a friend, that they were bruised or withdrawn? Would you get involved?

The statistics are frightening, one in FOUR women are abused is what Oprah said!

To answer the question: No, I don't think a person should stay just because there is not physical abuse. I have never had the physical abuse but the verbal abuse stays with you longer than a bruise does. I think it is just easier to justify it to the social world if you are hit, slapped, beat up. If that happens there is no defending your actions, you were hit and that is wrong. With verbal abuse you have to defend yourself to everyone until someone understands.

[Vautrin]

You can see a black eye. But it is a lot harder to see psychological scars.

[Duke]

Not when the guy is holding up rush hour because he's ready to jump.

I think we all have our limit of what we can and can't take, anything beyond our pain threshold regardless of physical or mental will likely leave scars.

[BridgieBridge]

Originally Posted by Luba

I watched an 'Oprah' show where a husband got his thirteen-old-son to videotape him abusing his wife verbally and physically while the eight-year-old was told by the abuser to watch as well. They were also told to call their Mother names. Oprah's message was to every woman who was watching the show to make a plan that very day to leave the Abuser.

This woman had been married a long time and it was amazing that she had been verbally abused for so many years and yet, as long as he didn't hit her, it was okay! Then about two years ago her started the physical abuse. Thanks to her co-worker who documented all the times the abused woman came in late, was withdrawn, or had bruises, the man got a very still sentence! The children also testified. Oprah will have the Show on next month when she speaks to the children.

My question is: Do you believe it's okay to live with a person if it's JUST verbal abuse, as the women say? Would you feel you deserved it as most abused women feel and just stay as long as you weren't hit or beaten? Would you document for someone, even if it wasn't a friend, that they were bruised or withdrawn? Would you get involved?

The statistics are frightening, one in FOUR women are abused is what Oprah said!

I saw that show, it was very sad and hard to watch. And the whole children video taping thing made me want to puke.

I've never tolerated any verbal abuse in the past. Now though i will admit my bf runs his mouth alot and talks alot of smack. We don't communicate to well with each other, but i guess i either put up with it or ignore him bc thats easier than packing up my babe moving out and being a single parent. Sad sorry excuse huh? It's the way i look at it though.

[kathy]

I use to get alot of verbal abuse from my ex and 98% of the time it was not physical. I got left with alot of mental scars from him. The scars seem to have grown bigger since he has passed away, its alot more hurtful to look back on.

[Scott]

Originally Posted by BridgieBridge

I've never tolerated any verbal abuse in the past. Now though i will admit my bf runs his mouth alot and talks alot of smack. We don't communicate to well with each other, but i guess i either put up with it or ignore him bc thats easier than packing up my babe moving out and being a single parent. Sad sorry excuse huh? It's the way i look at it though.

Bridgie needs her own thread.

Until then, her's is Not an uncommon story.

<<<sigh>>> Yep sad.

I'm curious though: How does bridgie KNOW it wouldn't be easier "packing up ..moving out...being a single parent?" Has she TRIED it? Certainly there's a Heluva Lot of women that never had the choice.....

[Fayebelle]

Originally Posted by kathy

I use to get alot of verbal abuse from my ex and 98% of the time it was not physical. I got left with alot of mental scars from him. The scars seem to have grown bigger since he has passed away, its alot more hurtful to look back on.

Agreed. Hindsight is 20/20 and there are few things more depressing then watching yourself get walked all over

[Duke]

Originally Posted by kathy

I use to get alot of verbal abuse from my ex and 98% of the time it was not physical. I got left with alot of mental scars from him. The scars seem to have grown bigger since he has passed away, its alot more hurtful to look back on.

Originally Posted by Fayebelle

Agreed. Hindsight is 20/20 and there are few things more depressing then watching yourself get walked all over

I know it's prolly of little consolation to you both at this point but just know I love you like close family and would never treat you like that

[Fayebelle]

That's sweet of you Duke


Even if you do say you Hate Me and call me a d00miss via Rep

[Duke]

lol, I thought it was pillow talk

...at least it was positive rep, I gave John a positive comment with negative rep points

I know the subject is verbal abuse but what I don't understand is how an abuser can not feel guilt after making someone feel like crap, needlessly? If your situation is this crummy that you have to continually pick on someone you deem is weaker what the h3ll are you staying around for?