Talking to your kids about drugs

Duke · 08-11-2004, 02:39 AM

I posted a news item from MSN Family that tackles this issue. The article can be found here.

It's a great read and essentially states that your child is never too young to start learning about drugs. After all, it's better they develop an understanding at home because it's really anyone's guess as to how they learn about drugs in the outside world.

Paul · 08-27-2004, 09:09 AM

That's great! I wish people would take the same attitude about teaching sex education at home, but great nonetheless!

Duke · 08-28-2004, 12:29 AM

I agree with the sex ed but think it should be talking to your kids about everything. Unfortunately in this day and age it doesn't seem to happen often. I wonder tho, is it any worse than it ever was? My parents prepared me for virtually nothing outside of home. Even if they did, would that mean that I don't experiment, likely not since it's my personality that makes me want to test the limits?

Merika · 09-21-2004, 10:17 AM

It seems that at the end of the day....it all comes down to a kid's personal character. Some will dabble, some will refuse and some will find it to be a refuge.

I think as a parent, the best thing is to let them know early on that whatver path they may chose....you'll be there for them.

I had a great family with a Mom who explained everything since she was a high school teacher. I goofed with drugs and my brother did even more so. In the end though....it's that character which comes out. He is now a preacher and I haven't even SEEN any drugs for a couple of decades.

I wouldn't totally panic if one of my kids tried drugs. I think it may be a part of growing up. I would panic more if I felt I hadn't given them a vision to do something with their lives which was meaningful and the wisdom to realize drugs will only hinder their life path to fulfull the vision.

Duke · 09-21-2004, 12:11 PM

I'm hoping my child steers away from drugs but I'm not naive enough to expect it of her. The only thing I strive for is that:

- she knows I love and support her ALWAYS
- I'm not quick to judge but try to be quick to understand
- she has someone to talk to in me with sensitive matter that she cannot trust to others.

No matter what, I refuse to pass judgement on my child. She has demonstrated time and time again that she's no clown. She doesn't get my respect because she's my child, she gets it because she's earned it. I also make sure she knows this.

Merika · 09-22-2004, 11:02 AM

I healthy loving relationship between a female child and her Dad will always be her greatest asset. I think the bonding, emotional exchange and physical hugs keep her from searching for it elsewhere at too young of an age.

I personally think divorces which have led to many young girls being denied that type of relationship is one of the pathways to early teen sex and drug abuse. They are missing something within their hearts and are trying to fill the gap elsewhere.

My daughter has a very 'sporadic' relationship with her Dad at best. I find that to be so sad and have no way of fixing it for her.

Keep up the good work Duke and encourage all Dads to do the same!

Duke · 09-22-2004, 07:44 PM

Thanks Merika, I do my best for my child and always will. It doens't make me a perfect dad, just a loving one.

I think your assessment of sporatic fathering is right on the money. A lady I know just had her daughter in the paper because she ran away at 16. Her daughter is a great girl but lacking a male role model. Her mother always has a new guy on the hook too which definately doesn't help.

Star · 06-03-2005, 07:41 AM

I'm waking up another old thread that I find extremely interesting.

talking to your kids about sex, drugs, strangers in real life and online is so important.

I started talking to my kids about strangers as soon as they could walk. started talking to them about sex was at age 7. at age 9, i talked to them about puberty and drugs, I started to talking to them about that very early, as soon as they started school.

Those subjects were always open for discussion and always talked about in my home with my kids. I feel that i've done my job now the rest is up to them. I'm not naive, i know that they will experiment with drugs and alcohol and even sex but i would hope they've learned enough from me to not at least try the hard drugs and use protection for sex.

Krystal well, we know how she's turned out but kassandra is different. I think she'll be smart about it all and might not ever even try to smoke a joint but i'm not worried about it. smoking a joint here and there won't kill her. It's the crack, coke, ex, heroine, acid that really scare me and i don't think she'll go there.

I have friends that have kids that are kassandra's age and they still haven't had talks with them about sex and drugs. I think that's horrible! Kids need to be educated on these things and it has to start at home. it shows them that they can trust us enough to come to us for advice on these things. it's so important.

Stone · 06-03-2005, 10:12 AM

I am going to be honest with Noah about his father when he is older and drugs plays alot into what he has become. I am also going to scare the crap out of him from ever touching it because he already has damage to his brain so I will use that

Star · 06-03-2005, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stone

I am going to be honest with Noah about his father when he is older and drugs plays alot into what he has become.

be very careful about being so honest with him about his father. I thought I was doing the right thing with Krystal when it came to answering questions and being honest about her biological father too but all it did was cause me more grief then I could've ever imagined.

She had her bio father up so high on that pedestal that I had to knock him down a few notches and tell her some truths about him. His criminal acts, drugs, etc.. it all came back to bite me in the arse later.

Even htough we think our child's father is a low life piece of crap, the child still thinks of that same person as one of the most important people in their life and they do idolize them. The kid is part of that person so by being too honest could be viewed as making the kid think that they're just like that guy. It doesn't make them feel good inside. I know this from my experience with Krystal. I think that's where I went wrong with her. I was too honest where her bio dad was concerned.

just be very very careful Stone.

Vautrin · 06-03-2005, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merika

I personally think divorces which have led to many young girls being denied that type of relationship is one of the pathways to early teen sex and drug abuse. They are missing something within their hearts and are trying to fill the gap elsewhere.

That is definitely true. Also the socio-economic impact of divorce must not be underestimated. Somehow there must be cash earned to pay for all the expenses. In the case the kids stay with their mom, it is mom who is going to work.

Of course there is the lack of a role-model for the daughters, certainly at some ages. But we must not overestimate the effects divorce has on the development of children. There are so many factors that play a role.

Duke · 06-03-2005, 04:06 PM

I think it really depends on the kid though too. If you know you're child and have actually paid attention to them and gotten to know who they are then you can guage what you can and can't say to them. I think the problem that most parents have is that they have an idea of what they want their children to be and let that blind them to who their children really are.

As a parent, I encourage you to stfu and actually listen to what your childs saying, there are so many great clues about who they are in there and it will only help your relationship grow stronger. Stifling who they are or trying to mould them isn't a good thing IMHO because they may grow to resent you.

Of course I've been lucky with my child and what I'm saying prolly doesn't add up to a hill of beans in Stars life. Essentially, no matter what, you have to shelve what your thinking in order to truly listen and the only way to listen is to shut up. Even if your thinking of an answer while your child is talking it means your not listening.

Merika · 06-04-2005, 05:05 PM

It all depends on the circumstances though Duke. Some girls get lucky and have a good relationship with their Dad and stepDad.....while a whole bunch of girls have neither.

Chloe has friends who have the step Dads from h*ll. I can't imagine where these girls would pick up a good sense of 'male relationship' from that. Not having a good relationship or a lengthy absentee situation from a real Dad is equally as bad.

I think when the 'family unit' falls apart....we can make the most out of it and the kids will be okay. But, as Vautrin said, it's not the same......