Arguments

Luba · 02-16-2008, 06:37 PM

Have you ever been in an argument that you couldn't/didn't win? What was that like for you? Do you generally argue until you think you won? Do you quit arguing when you see you have no chance of winning? Who wins in an argument anyway?

Vautrin · 02-16-2008, 07:40 PM

Sometimes I argue for the sake of it. And everyone knows, but sometimes my bizarre arguments actually work.

Luba · 02-16-2008, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vautrin

Sometimes I argue for the sake of it. And everyone knows, but sometimes my bizarre arguments actually work.

That's good then!

NoTargeT · 02-16-2008, 07:55 PM

I wouldn't call it 'winning', but 'being right at the start of the argument'. As long as you both agree on something in the end, one was right to start with, and both 'win' since they agree in the end and share the same opinion at the end of the argument.

So my goal isn't to 'win', but to get to an agreement.

If your goal is to be the sole winner, then your goal is disagreement. Nice if your goal is to start a war, but not good when dealing with friends, family and lovers.

I prefer ending up agreeing while ignoring who was right from the start over 'winning' and proving the other is wrong. A good argument needs to ignore who was right at the start and should only be judged by the end result, with only winners. It's what turns argueing into fruitfull discussions

Fayebelle · 07-27-2008, 09:15 PM

Sometimes you have to know when to agree to disagree. However if you are arguing to get something you want/need or to defend yourself or another- never back down if you know you are in the right and be willing to call in support if necessary.

PepsiChic · 07-27-2008, 10:26 PM

me and keith rarely argued till my head got more and more messed up now i cause arguements without meaning too.

when we did argue tho, it'd be because we both felt very very strongly about something. it'd have to be a very strong feeling about i because we work everything else out. most times, in one of these arguments one or the oth of us would leave the conversation in a sulk or to shed a few tears or go for a drive, then we'd come back make our apologies and drop it. those kind of arguments we can never "win" because we'd both feel strongly about what we think, and there isnt a "right and wrong" its just opinions on something (ie gun laws)

but apologies made, we'd leave it and carry on as normal.

wolvesjr34 · 07-28-2008, 06:47 AM

I used to have real doozies with my Nan, but by the end we were both seeing that each other had a valid point to some extent and met in the middle, and hugged and cried and all that.

Luba · 07-28-2008, 07:23 AM

Why do we even bother to argue? Does anyone ever really 'win' an argument? Why is it so important to try to win and argue until there is anger, frustration, tears and/or sulking? What a wasted effort, IMHO! We are all different, and wouldn't it be boring if we were all the same? Why can't we just have differences of opinion and leave it at that, and not waste precious time 'trying to win'? In the end, who cares? We still hold the same opinion as does the other person. We might learn something maybe about a different point of view, but that's about it.

Fayebelle · 07-28-2008, 05:21 PM

What if someone told you you could not take your child to the church you wanted? Or had to take yourself to a church you don't agree with?

What if someone told you the Earth was flat?

What if someone told you it was OK to beat anyone that got in their way? (physically)

What if someone told you that you had to give every dime you made to the government?

What if someone told you that you have to wear purple every day for the rest of your life?

Some of those arguments seem silly and some seem obvious- but the fact is- they are all arguments you would probably participate in- and SOMEONE would win

Vautrin · 07-28-2008, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fayebelle

What if someone told you the Earth was flat?

It is. Just look at the world map.

Quote:

What if someone told you that you had to give every dime you made to the government?

Is that not what every election is about?

twinkle · 07-28-2008, 06:02 PM

I am the champion of avoiding fights. if I do get in a fight, it must be pretty bad.

Meanon · 07-28-2008, 06:35 PM

I hate conflict and avoid it at all costs. But sometimes it's necessary to achieve change and when I do tackle things I usually get an outcome I can live with and wish I'd done it a lot sooner.

If anyone starts arguing as in shouting etc I try and get them to stop and if I can't I leave them to it.

Fayebelle · 07-28-2008, 09:06 PM

Maybe I never lost my little girl instinct that "THAT'S NOT FAIR" is a worthy battle cry