I am so sorry for your loss
Check out this site
http://www.al-anon.org/
when I was 5 my father (I never knew him) committed suicide while high. He had a terrible drug prob but I carried guilt for YEARS as though at the tender age of 5 I could have battled the demons of a father I had never known. Counceling and Al Anon were crucial to helping me accept and forgive him.
I still have a bit of sadness that we never met, but I'm not angry and I'm not guilty. In that manner I'm probally leaps and bounds above other people who have survived the death of a loved one- let alone a drug related suicide. Al Anon was CRUCIAL in this transformation. I highly recommend you check it out.
Can't hurt right?
****HUGS****