Great points guys, very thought provoking! I completely agree with you Roserman, being with someone doesn't define who we are as people, I've been very happy being single and in fact cautious about entering any type of realtionship which I know won't be longterm and beneficial to us both. The person you're with should compliment who you are, I don't mean by saying complimenting things to the other person, it's through your actions and personality that you compliment eachother, you're like an extension of eachother. That's true compatibility.
I've known this girl for 3 years and when we met we immediately had a strong connection, our personalities click and have had a great friendship which has grown into a relationship, but even if we weren't dating I'd still love her, it's the bond we have, the fact that we want to be together only makes it better. I'm just using this as an example but this is the only reference I have that's really worth commenting on.
Getting off track here a bit but also another point worth mentioning is the fact that being "in love" isn't supposed to be blind and stupid or just based on feelings as most people would prefer. My own defintion of love is being redifined daily but I'm beginning to more fully understand that it's loving someone as much as you love yourself, part of that is if you respect the person and can trust them, over-looking thier faults and accepting them as human beings who make mistakes and are not perfect. I believe that's the point you were making Duke, there are no perfect mates (people) but there is a perfect match.
But in saying that, love should also be discerning as to whether or not the person is a positive influence on your life and whether there's enough compatibility to continue persuing the relationship. Duke and I were talking about this last night and I realized also that loving someone means knowing when to let go for both your sakes, at a point where you wouldn't be respecting yourself or her if you allowed it to drag on and cause feelings of resentment. Ending a relationship for the right reasons can be
amicable and best for both of you, especially in circumstances where issues like distance which keep people apart.
Anyway I've taken the long way around but all this comes back the topic of this discussion, learn to love and respect yourself first, only then can you find someone who will truely love and respect you and be deserving of your love and respect in return.
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