Re: Day 1
im still in day 1. i went to work and missed a few turns on the way. my mind was not functioning. i got to work and missed a meeting by 15min a big no no. i was asked quite a few times if i was ok. i am still numb i just said yes. meeting #2 more "are you ok" questions. went to lunch and more "are you ok questions" I went home afterwards. my boss knows no one else does. he sent me home.
on my way home i stopped by a synagogue(messianic) i have been there once. I asked to speak to someone in ministry. no one was available but the nice lady manning the front desk and phones spoke with me and made me feel better.
i drove home on cloud nine listening to worship music and praising God! I prayed that my wife would be home and we would reconcile. i came around the corner and the truck wasnt in the driveway. my heart broke again.
i knew she would be by sometime to pick up clothes and such which she did.
i saw things out of place and some of her things missing.
i was crushed again. my eyes are raw i cannot make more tears. i make a few more laps around my house i see what she took and what she didnt. i know she doesnt have a place to stay. im worried about that. i am praying again. iam confused again. i am down even lower now. im trying to pick myself up before i have to pickup my son from school. i am trying to show courage around him. i dont know what to say to him. its the first time i see him after she told me last night. so im typing this out.
i have dreams, i wish to serve God. i wish to be a blessing but now i feel alone though i know God is with me. he created my life long companion and now she is gone. i know im rambling. i have the courage to say all of this here as no one knows me here
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