Quote:
Originally Posted by Luba
I'm glad you found things to make you happy today, AJ! I sense your melancholy at the end of the post. Just keep on keeping on, and each day look for more and more happiness; little things that take you away from thinking about sad things! But it's also okay to have a good cry when you need one, nothing wrong with that! I LOVE a good cry; clears things up for a while! Just be good to yourself, our new friend! I, for one, am very, very glad you're here!
Love and Support from Luba  |
I've always been good at doing what makes me feel good, first and foremost. But I was often told I was being selfish, etcetera. Even my Grandmother didn't understand to begin with, she understands now as her own life cycle has taught her many things. She understands why I would always put myself first. Sometimes (especially as a teen) that would border on petulance, but we all take time to learn the right way to go about things.
The problem is, as I grow older, I think more about what I want from life, and the things that made me happy, don't make me so happy anymore. But for the sake of a list these are the things that have once or do make me happy (when I'm not being too philosphical about objects as a source of happiness).
1. Trading cards (I have a huge collection of American basketball cards - with my focus being on the Minnesota Timberwolves). I have collected them since I was 12 and I still do to this day, and this is probably the one that makes me the happiest, but the saddest too on occasions. It's a reminder of simpler times, as a child.
My favourite player that I collect with a passion is Isaiah Rider (he's a bad role model), but if I analysed why I collect him it's beacuse I traded some football cards for some basketball cards and one of my mothers friend's boyfriend pointed out a Rider rookie card and said he was going to be a great player. So as a kid I decided to collect him. I'm a loyal person, so I keep collecting him, despite his character flaws and the fact he isn't in the NBA anymore. I lament how better he would have been if he hadn't wasted his talent.
It makes me sad, when I realise it's just cardboard, and it's a really pointless hobby, that will never return the money spent on it. But then I don't collect to one day sell, either.
2. Writing, I've created some characters that are remarkable flawed human beings. I've been writing since I was 10 and in 2004 I wrote my first novel (not published, needs a lot of rewriting) and since I finished that I've struggled to write much else.
But it makes me happy when I can get lost in the plot, when the characters take over the story and I just follow what they demand. Just doesn't happen much anymore.
Reading a good book still makes me happy. I just don't read very often anymore.
and this post is SO off topic it's not funny. I'm sorry.