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Old 04-14-2008, 07:51 AM   #6 (permalink)
laki33
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Join Date: Apr 2008
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Default Re: Separation or Divorce?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vautrin View Post
I think you just need to come up with a path and stick to it. Whether you file for divorce, go into marriage counselling or what, everything takes time. May as well make it count, in terms of coming to a decision.

If she needs time what is she going to do with it? Text this other guy. How that is helping the relationship is a bit beyond me. Not to mention, she probably will suffer from rose-tinted perspective, because the other guy is new. Does not mean she is making objective or rational judgements in this situation.

Propose marriage counselling. How does she react to that? If you want to work things out, the both of you need to make a commitment in that regard. You can't save a marriage by yourself. If she thinks otherwise, then perhaps you should start the divorce proceedings.

And divorce proceedings last quite long anyway, so it is not until the judge says your divorced that it is so. She will still have a long time to work on things, if she chooses to, despite not opting for marriage counselling.

As for the "jealousy", I don't think it is that uncommon, after a long marriage. Don't worry too much about it yet, and try to save the relationship.
I agree, i wanted some closure too so i can heal or know what ground I stand on. I do not like this "in between" time. She told me she coudn't give me an answer now that she is willing to work on things or even go to counceling. I think she is scared to go and talk to a proferssional because she also has a lot of issues and do not like to work on them. At least i am willing to change my ways. I do not see the point in saving this. If she is not sure now that she want's to stay married how will she think in 60 days? I don't get it.
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