[IR_Efrem]

This is very hard topic to comment on, really it is.

So far as I know everywhere in the US (I dunno where you live) there is a minimum of child support that must be paid IF you have court ordered sole physical custody. If your arrangement is different then the rules will be different, How? I am not sure because that is one small point that differs from one state to another.

Support is also almost always based on a percentages game. So regardless of your expenditures or his (he lives rent free and this makes no difference to the courts) the court basically has a formula, they plug in your wages, his wages, figure out the time the children are spending here and there, then they come up with an amount. BE VERY CAREFUL if you make more money than him, especially if you make a lot more. You could end up paying him.

What is completely and totally fair is not always a consideration in the eyes of the court. If you truly want to make it so he has to pay you support then it will have to be a complete process and determination by the court. This includes 1 parent being the custodial parent, this does not mean he gives up on being a Dad though, and getting a regular child support order in place. Visitation must be set up per a court order and all dealings must be done through the court. I recommend doing this
Take into consideration what you call fair and remember what exactly the court considers as fair and the crap that is involved with court proceedings and think to yourself, is it all worth it. I've seen kids getting tossed into the middle of all this WAY to often. I hope, for your family's sake that all goes as peaceful as possible.

My example of peaceful, my fiance and her ex NEVER ask each other for a nickel and he supports the child almost %100. They are great friends and never ever put their son in the middle of anything. When he is here we provide for him, when he is at Dad's he provides for him. They are both super reasonable people and never argue about anything.

Now...... according to what the court would say is fair, he is the custodial parent, she should be paying her ex child support as well as a portion of doctors bills. They do not care about any of what the court says though and live their lives in complete harmony with one another in regards to their child. Both her and the ex have gone through hardships financially but never once said to the other one, you should help me out more because he is your son as well.....

I am not judging your situation but I have seen both sides and in between, there never seems to be a good outcome (in my experience) when the parents don't just drop everything and say, "my child is what is important here and nothing else"

If you both can't agree then the only real option is to let the court handle everything, that way there is no argument about any of it at all.

I apologize if I sound judgmental at all, that's not what I want to say here. I'm only going by what I have seen.

What is right for you is what you decide, and there really are only 2 choices. One is going to court, one is not. Either one is completely acceptable in my opinion. I really do believe that this particular choice must be made, go or don't goto court. Decide what you want and pick a course of action.

That's about all I can recommend. I really hope all works out very well for you and especially the children.