[Tryinghard]

hello...I am feeling frustrated and I do not have alot of support people around me. I hope that you do not mind if I unload here.

I separated from my husband 6 months ago after 15 years of marriage. It was not a decision that I made lightly, but it is one that I really should have made long before then.

We have two kids both under 12. I wanted to make the transition as painless for the kids as possible so I thought about my options. I was scared to death but I went to the bank and applied for a mortgage on my own. I got it! I was so happy. I bought our house and paid my ex his share of the equity we had built up. It brought me alot of happiness that I was able to keep some consistancy in my kids life and keep our house, the same school, friends, etc. I am truly blessed and thankful that I was able to do this because I understand that many other people are not in the position to do so.

It has been tough...very tough, there is very little money left over, but I do my best to make ends meet. My ex is not very helpful financially, he gives me 200 a month total for both kids. All this does is pays for 1/2 of the afterschool childcare...nothing else. He spends lot of time with the kids, and is great that way, but I really wish that he could understand that as good as that it is, it does not put food on the table. I do not want to rake him over the coals or bankcrupt him, I would just like for him to contribute a little more. He gets all upset and makes it seem like I am being unreasonable. We hav a 60/40 access arrangement with me 60, although at this time, he is living in his parents basement and virtually has no bills. The kids as a result are not there 40% of the time. He keeps saying that he has them 50% of the time and because of this he is incurring half of the expenses and that he owes me nothing else. I can understand once they do live with him p/t and he has to pay for their expenses, but right now he does not.

We have avoided going to court so far because we have been able to reach agreements on our own. I am thinking that I may have to go to court now.
I really cannot afford to go to court. I am one of those lucky lower middle class people that makes too much money for assistance, but not enough to really live on with two kids.

Anyways, thanks for reading, I just needed to get this off my chest, I had a bit of a tiff with the ex earlier and it set me off. He brought down my spirits a bit tonight and has made me feel a little less confident that I can do this on my own.

take care