[IR_Efrem]

moleen,

let me start with saying I was once in your husbands place.. Though i think my situation was a bit more extreme. Our marriage ended after she tried to stab me, I was on a chair changing a light bulb and she went nuts because she thought i was her ex (she was also scitzophrenic (spelling?))

Anyhow bi-polarism has a certain stigmatism around it... It looks AWFUL on paper, and it can have very bad effects on those around you, if left unchecked.

First off I would get a second, third, and forth opinion on whether or not you actually have this mental disease. Take family in with you to see the therapist so they can all give opinions to him/her. So an Real diagnosis can be made. It's all to often some one tosses out a diagnosis without real information. If it's not the real issue medication makes things worse. I have seen REAL mental illness in many forms and I've also seen misdiagnosis drive my own daughter to start talking about killing herself because of all the medication she was on. (BTW she is tons better and this has not happened for 2 years now)

Your husband might be thinking... hmm bi-polarism is something extreme and potentially harmful to the kids - (hence the "let's see how the medications works for you")

Or your husband might be a bit like myself as well.. I tend to wait and sit back hope things get better without having to struggle for it (way to much) I admit this and personally I am trying to NOT do this. Regardless - do NOT jump on the bandwagon that says (your man is just being a jerk). If you feel this way, it will project into your words and actions and make your conversations worse. Perhaps he knows you have a problem and wants you to work it out. This does not mean he doesn't support you or even want you to get better. He might be tired, emotionally exausted (if you will) of trying to cope to keep himself calm, rational and sane.

How you feel about something, anything is exactly what it is. More often than not it isnt something you can change. You can't get upset directly at your husband because he feels the way he feels. I realize this works both ways, and I am not defending any of his actions, simply because I do not fully know what his actions are.

I can only speculate on exactly what he is feeling but you have to understand that emotional illness is nothing to be taken lightly by anyone. Maybe this maybe that wont help you a whole lot.

Perhaps you could shed a little light on the matter by giving us more information. I wouldn't mind knowing the exact words you both use during an arguement. Not how it made made you feel or how you think he was feeling, what *exactly do you argue about and what are your responses to each other*

Sorry if I'm getting to personal, I'm not trying to play therapist or anything, but perhaps I can give you a better idea of how he feels if I knew a bit more. Perhaps I cannot.

I totally understand you wanting support from him and I agree with alot of what has been said already. I would have to say "don't push him to help you" Ask him "will you help me" and accept his answer. Tell him what you are doing to help yourself (and your WHOLE family), Leave it at that. Perhaps if he sees you helping yourself in earnest and you wanting not to argue it will remind him of how strong you are "yourself"
Perhaps.

Please think about what I've said, maybe you already know the answer. It's not my intention to judge anyone here.

You don;t have to listen to my suggestions of course.

I truly hope your family makes it through all of this.
Good luck