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today was a pretty normal day. went to work, came home, had dinner thenthe phone rings. krystal's on the other end of the phone. we haven't been on the "speaking terms" since bailey was born, I thought she was calling to start her crap again.... I was sooooo wrong....

when she was pregnant with bailey, i noticed some strange pink bump like thing with spider veins running from it on her outer thigh. she had a couple of those. i thought she was way tooyoung to have spider veins and the bump didn't sem right at all so i told her she should go the doctors asap to have that checked out.

She calls me and asks me if i had saved her umbilecal cord from birth. I said no then asked her why she would ask me for something like that. then she told me that she went for blood tests and x-rays and got her results today and the doctor told her she's got leukemia. shock was my first reaction, then i asked a few questions then i told her that if this is some kind of sick joke it isn't funny...she started to cry and said, no mom, it's not a joke, i do have leukemia and started bawling her eyes out. my troubled little girl has cancer. i don't know what to do. i feel all kinds of emotions...guilt mostly for pushing her away these past couple of months and feeling like i should be there more for her. i want to hold her in my arms and make her booboo all better.

this isn't something that you never think would happen to your child, ever. my brother's wife lost her little brother at 18 of leukemia. he went from a healthy kid playing football to passing away in less then a year.

i asked her to make a doctor's appointment for this friday so that i can talk to the doctor about this and know what she needs to go through now and if there's even a sliver of hope that she recovers from this.

I'm so scared for her. i don't know what to do.