I'm sorry to hear that star. But then from what you've said, this is your chance for peace and happiness and everyone deserves that. So I am happy for you too. It sounds like it's long overdue, like you I needed the certainty that it was the right thing to do for my kids before I could act. In retrospect I waited too long.
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this was hard for me to write because i feel like a huge failure. i feel like i've wasted 19 years of my life with a man that probably wasn't the right one for me (we are total opposites). well, not right for me anymore i suppose.
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No one person can sustain a relationship alone. It's no-one's fault. He has not been able to live up to his responsibilities to his family, you got tired and lonely. It's just a sad story, you did what you could but the fact that it wasn't enough is not your fault.
I found that the ending distorted my view of the whole relationship with my ex for a long time after I left. It caused a great deal of self blame and confusion. Now I have a more balanced view of our time together. Your 19 years were not a waste, star. Love is never wasted. You will see them differently in time.
Once you're alone you will have that much craved peace - I bet you begin to feel better straight away just from relief. This is the most difficult bit - stay close to your friends and family, have as much fun as you can to remind yourself of why this was necessary and of what's important in life. You're strong, you will bounce back soon.