[PepsiChic]

i do understand its just very very hard. my ex conditioned me to think so much about things, mainly about the bad points of habits i have, and so now im alays very carful what i say and do, always apologise for everything etc
my current boyfriend is really good to me tho, which i appriciate, hes very very patient and lets me go at my own pace in "re-learning" things. He tries to get me to break the habit of asking premission to do things. anything the lsightest little thing and i'll ask him first. but i think im not doing that so much now.

everything just takes a lot fo time and work. but i dunno self hate is just so hard to let go of.