[Meanon]

That's a wonderful article, tkd lady. Thanks for sharing it.

I find that when friends suffer, I always find it more difficult to handle if it's something to do with their kids. I think it's to do with being able to empathise as a parent and the fact that if your child suffers, it's much worse than if you do. I have one friend whose child was born with physical and learning difficulties and another friend who died who had kids she had to plan for and say goodbye to. I'm glad posting helps and that you are getting through it.

I found this interesting: alternately anxious, angry, denying, guilty, depressed or fearful, but they were not internally "disturbed" people. There's a similar distinction drawn between psychopathology and normal functioning.

This may be a reflection of the therapeutic approach, but I wonder if also there's a fear of being labelled abnormal or ill when you suffer in some way. It's very common as people hate feeling out of control. It's a fear I had the one time I had difficulty overcoming a problem and I had to overcome the fear first as it wasn't helpful. There is research evidence that fear of emotional distress is linked to poorer outcomes than acceptance of it.

In my practice I find that even the most severely affected people have the same reactions as those who may be suffering, but not so much as to be classed as "ill". It's more a question of time affected, severity, rigidity and type of consequences than the internal thinking or reactions being fundamentally different. All the thoughts, reactions etc make perfect sense from the view point of the person and in some ways are functional, which is why they persist. It's only by understanding exactly what the meaning and function is that acceptance options for change become clear. I think that "normal distress" and "psychopathology" are on the same continuum, they are just labels that describe severity.