[Star]

this topic hits home. i grew up with an alcoholic father and lots of fighting in the house. alcohol does a lot of damage to afamily.

I used to be embarassed to bring my friends home so i avoided that like the plague. although my dad was hardly home, when he was, it was hell. my mother started going to al-anon and i even tried going to al-ateen then later al-anon. but, i moved out at 16 and that was a releaf for me, i suppose.

it has affected me in my adult life. although i'm not an alcoholic myself, i did my share of drinking in my 20's and the boyfriends i chose were drinkers, including my husband. i can't stand the smell of alcohol nor can i stand to be round people who are drunk. it just grosses me out and brings this feeling back inside of me.

my husband hasn't touched a drink in about 8 years and it's nice. to support him, i don't drink either.

we're 4 kids in the family. my youngest brother didn't see what the rest of us did. lucky for him. i have 1 brother who has followed into my dad's footsteps with his drinking. he has yet to admit he's got a problem, hopefully one day he will.

I was a very shy girl most of my life. I have overcome that to a certain degree but it's still there. i do worry at times what people think of me. the magnatude of damage to the self-esteem being brought up in an alcoholic home does to a child is tremendous and if you don't get help at some point in time, it can affect you for the rest of your life. after krystal was born, i went to talk to a psychiatrist. the things he said to me was enough to boost my self-esteem up high enough that i was okay after that.

I learned that my dad's problem was his. he owns it, not us. and to accept and love him for who he is. put the past behind me, left it there where it belongs and moved on. today, my dad is nowhere near what he was. he drinks occasionally but controls himself now. i still have a problem with him drinking but, it's not my problem, it's his so i hide my feelings from him when i see him with a bottle of beer in his hand.

as bad as my childhood was, i wouldn't change thing. it made me the person i am today.