Erin, people do understand if you explain it to them and not everyone has had a perfect childhood. I know people who have had similar childhoods to yours, have reacted in the same way and have overcome their problems, just like you are. Think back to how you overcame the depression, what was it that helped you? For most people, it's really understanding exactly how the mood is created in them, what the triggers are, what they do that helps and what doesn't, why it happens in the first place (in your case to do with your childhood). All of this helps them get a bit of distance on it, to see it as something other than them, an illness rather than their personality. Then they can get a bit of control over it and, with time, they get better at controlling the bad feelings. Is that how you did it?
It's just the same with the feelings of being not normal and everything that makes you feel that way (the freckles are probably just the most obvious sign for you). Do you know why it is you feel not normal, I mean do you know it's that you learnt it as a child because you were taught it? Do you realise that it's not true, that it's just a feeling that you can learn to control, just as you did the depression? If not, then this is what you need to work on. It's much easier to do this with someone else, a therapist. Have you seen one, could you find one? There's also some very good books that suggest things you can do that will help. PM me if you would like me to give you the title of one, you can buy it on Amazon. Do you still have the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms (re-living the trauma as if it were happening now?). there is a new, very effective treatment for that which works very quickly, called EMDR.
You've done really well so far, Erin. Keep trying and seeking support and you'll continue to succeed. Keep posting too!
