[Erin]

A bit of background info
My father was an alcoholic and when I was 5 my parents divorced, When I was 5 (4 months later) my mother remarried. This man was abusive. For 10 years I lived with the abuse and when I was put into foster homes I realised that how I was living was not right and moved out with my grand-parents. Not long after that social services took mee and my mother and my 2 little brothers to a safehouse for our protection.
I grew up is a state of perpetual depression and was diagnosed with chronic depression and post traumatic stress disorder 3 years ago. I am now 20.
I have been dealing with the odd problems since then and have dealt with it. 2 years ago in November my father passed away the same week I got his phonenumber to call and talk to him after 13 years.
I have been getting over the depression and what not but the problems I have been having is that I feel as though I fit in nowhere and I am just an outcast. I feel as though I am not normal.
Also as of late I have been dealing with a different sort of problem. I have red hair and freckles and I was always told I was so useless that I couldn't even wash the flyspots off of my face (reffering to my freckles) and my hatred for them got to the point where I would bleach and put ammonia on my face to try and wash/burn them off (I have never told anyone that). Now when I see my freckles or think of them I almost (or do) cry. I have tried to say to myself when I start to think that way "They are just skin pigmentation; that is all" but it doesn't seem to work. Does anyone know how I can change this. I am not asking to love them I am just asking to not hate them.

Noone else understands they all had perfect childhoods. Thanx