This thread reminds me of a comedy routine I once saw based on the following:
EXPLANATIONS FOR VARIOUS AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENTS TAKEN FROM CLAIM FILES OF MUTUAL SERVICE INSURANCE COMPANY:
1. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
2. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
3. A trunk backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
4. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
5. The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in the bush with his rear-end showing.
6. I told the police I was not injured; but upon removing my hat, I found I had a fractured skull.
7. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
8. When I saw that I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and subsequently crashed into the other car.
9. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law in the seat and headed over the embankment.
10. I had been driving my car for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had the accident.
11. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
12. I first saw the slow-moving, sad-faced man when he bounced off the hood of my car.
13. The accident happened when the right front door of a car came around the corner without giving any signal.
14. The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end.
15. A pedestrian I did not see, hit me, then went sliding under my car.
16. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.
17. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.
18. The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into another vehicle.
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