Your Mom is not being a good Mom and that will hurt. You did nothing to deserve this, you have every right to expect more.
She still loves you though and she's still your Mom. Her life is out of control. she's damaging herself, you and everyone around her. You've coped with it really well, making as stable a life for yourself as you can. Do you know how brave you are to have done that? Do you give yourself credit for it? are you proud of it?
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i feel so worthless to her and i dunno what to go now or where to go from here
i just she would care for me and be proud of the things that i can acomplish, but it just seems that im not on her list of cares, which make me very upset and sad.
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That's what you need to work on to get through this. Put aside the bad feelings for a while and think carefully about why your mother is the way she is. Ask your family. I'm sure you know really that the way she is comes from things to do with her, not you. It is sad, but it does not mean that you are worthless to her or anyone else, most of all to yourself. It doesn't mean that she doesn't care deeply for you. She's just not showing it right now.
This is a bad time for you, it will get better. Please don't make it worse by assuming that your mom's behaviour is a judgement of you. It's not. Resist viewing it that way or else before you know it you'll be blaming yourself and feeling worse. Seek out people who make you feel good, take care of yourself. You've come so far, you can do it, but not while you are sapping your strength with feelings of worthlessness. Please see a counsellor if you need help along the way. That's what they are there for.