Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Star
I've had 2 friends who were adopted. One didn't get a good adoptive mother but the other one had wonderful parents but they both felt the same about one thing. They wanted, all their lives, to know where they came from and hated that they had to wait until they were 18 to find anything out; if they even could.
|
And what about the rights of sperm donors? The issue with forcing sperm donors to be available for the kids has resulted in a spectacular decline in sperm donors here. So much, that there even is a shortage. Can we say, that not-being born is to be preferred over being born, but not knowing who your biological parents are? Very hard to make out, IME.
These issues are extremely tricky, certainly from legal and moral points of view.
Quote:
|
The adoption lady I was involved with told me that open adoptions are the best for children. They don't grow up ever feeling like the "one that doesn't belong" and they're grateful that they had the chance to know their mother, grandparent, siblings.
|
That can be advantageous. But it can also be a total disaster. Especially when the biological parents lay claim to the child, which is now the responsibility of the adoptive parents - which is even more confusing for the child. That can happen when you give your child up for adoption. You can't enjoy the perks for free, and avoid the worse things at the same time.
Quote:
|
It all makes good sense to me. The red tape you have to go through to find out just basic medical information at 18 is unreal and sometimes takes years after that before you even know anything.
|
That applies to all citizens, not just adopted children.
Quote:
|
To each their own though. There are people who wouldn't want an open adoption, and that's perfectly okay, but the open adoption is becoming extremely popular now and from what I heard from the adoption lady is that the kids are much happier kids in the end.
|
That is hard to tell. Probably the kids that are put up for closed adoption are not from the same background as the kids that are put up for open adoption. (Think substance adictions to name but one category).
Quote:
|
In most cases too what happens is the birth parent and/or family members slowly give up on the visits and disapear anyways. It's almost like a weaning off process for most people.
|
Yes, but what if you are the adopting parent, and get constantly hassled by the biological one (in indirect ways), for not taking care of the child properly, and using the child to set it up against its parents? The virtues of open adoptions are also vulnerabilities of the whole system.
Hard issues, and I would not know which to choose to be honest, if I were to adopt.