[Star]

I've had 2 friends who were adopted. One didn't get a good adoptive mother but the other one had wonderful parents but they both felt the same about one thing. They wanted, all their lives, to know where they came from and hated that they had to wait until they were 18 to find anything out; if they even could.

The adoption lady I was involved with told me that open adoptions are the best for children. They don't grow up ever feeling like the "one that doesn't belong" and they're grateful that they had the chance to know their mother, grandparent, siblings. She told us that the adoptive parents were grateful also because then, the hard questions are answered to the child with the biological parent or relative there.

It all makes good sense to me. The red tape you have to go through to find out just basic medical information at 18 is unreal and sometimes takes years after that before you even know anything.

To each their own though. There are people who wouldn't want an open adoption, and that's perfectly okay, but the open adoption is becoming extremely popular now and from what I heard from the adoption lady is that the kids are much happier kids in the end.

In most cases too what happens is the birth parent and/or family members slowly give up on the visits and disapear anyways. It's almost like a weaning off process for most people.