I think it's totally fair for anyone of any religion to have times they question it. I wouldn't feel quilty for that....nor do I think it makes you a heathen.
I know how important your faith is to you though Ayla. I think you should find some time to get alone....pray...and follow where your heart leads you. The longer you wait...the harder it gets. I know from experience.
I'm glad you got it off your chest. It's a heavy burden to carry around. Just because something made perfect sense when you first accepted it....doesn't mean you don't have to re-evaluate it at different points of your life.
I wouldn't look at it as a bad thing....I would look at it like a good thing. You'll either end up confirming what you originally believed or find a new path.
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