I think the heart of the matter is in the first post on the other thread. Sometimes relationships are just bad for you. When you're in them you focus on how that manifests itself in the failings of the other person but with distance I prefer to think of the relationship/circumstance/life etc as being to blame. That way you can retain a sense of balance and memories of the good times stay with you to counteract the bad. Otherwise, all you're left with is bitterness.
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