[Star]

I know. I told gerry today about everything. the 2 pregnancies and the drugs. While krystal was here, both gerry and i sat with her and talked to her about this pregnancy and touch a little on the drugs. We feel this pregnancy is top priority right now and we'll deal with the drug thing next week or so.

Krystal called the birth center and i brought her there this afternoon. She's got to call them back in the morning for an appointment with the doctor that will do the abortion. She will get the birth control needle right after the abortion and i will pay for it. it costs 25.00 every 3 months.

Sitting in that room talking about my daughter getting an abortion was the absolute hardest thing i have ever done in my entire life. I am so against abortion and this is really really hard on me. I cried all the way home then talked to gerry and cried some more. I'm still crying. I feel like i'm an accomplice to murder. I told gerry that I need counselling to deal with this now! this is going to give my nightmares.

I will be there for krystal through the whole thing no matter how painful this is for me to even be involved in. As hard as it is for me, it's got to be 100 times worse for her on the inside. she should at least have me there with her. Both gerry and i are supporting her decision as hard as it is for the both of us.

Her boyfriend doesn't want her to have this abortion. gerry and i are going to have a talk with him also. i just found out now that he's coming to pick krystal up later so that'll be the time we talk to him.

God forgive me for not helping this baby live. OMG! This is soooo hard for me to handle.