[Star]

I thought krystal was doing very well for herself these past months. in some ways she is but that all got knocked down to hell this afternoon. I'm back at being filled with mixed emotions.

she got into a fight with her boyfriend. she runs here. he calls because he's worried she'll do something stupid because she's angry and out of control right now. I give him crap for some of the things he did and i give her crap for some of the things she did. they're both at fault anyhow so i lecture the both of them. fine. but, ready?

he tells me that krystal is pregnant with his kid. 2 months pregnant to be exact and that krystal wants to get an abortion and he doesn't want her to. thta's what they've been fighting about. i lost it!

I told him that he had no business getting my daughter pregnant since he has a 2 1/2 year old little boy that he can't even take care of and i told krystal the same thing about her situation. he then apologizes saying "it was a mistake". well i flipped again and told him that he already had his maistake when he got another girl pregant with his son. grant him that but, twice? not a mistake. told him he should've been waring condoms. told krystal she should've been on birth control and making sure he wears condoms at the least!

so, krystal has a apointment to go get an abortion next week. I would've rather of not known about this! she knew this whihc is why she kept it from me.

there's more if you can believe that! this is not the first time her and her boyfriend got pregnant! this is the 2nd time!!!!! they've been together only 5 months tops!! the first time, she got an abortion without telling him or anyone. this will be her 2nd abortion in a matter on months. nice huh?

i asked her if this is her plan. to use abortion as her birth control. she said the law only allows 3. so i said then what? are you going to learn your lesson after the 3rd? she should've learned her lesson after erika! i let her have it!!! one day she might want a child (when she's finally grown up and mature!!) and might not be able to bare anymore children because of all these abortions. she's so clueless!!!!!

there's more.... her boyfriend tells me she's done ex a couple times while she's pregnant. nice huh? i laid into krystal about that one too.

i am so angry, sad, disapointed (again!) and confused. what do i do with this kid?!? she's not going through with this pregnancy and i'm not going to try and stop her no matter how against i am about abortion. if she had a baby, children's aid told me that if i couldn't take the baby, then the baby would be apprehended at birth. i can't take another one. first of all i don't have the room and second, i just can't do that anymore. having erika is all i can do right now. 2 babies would be way too much.

my beautiful daughter is always disapointing me. the nightmare is never ending.