Pretty good questions twinkle, I'll do my best to answer them honestly as my emotions and thought process has changed dramatically from the time we first split to now.
As a parent, I've worried, and continue to worry, about the life my daughter will lead. I don't think this will ever go away and I think that's why God makes it that we die of old age, it's a mercy killing.
I knew my daughter would inherit some of her mothers traits as she did mine, but I was more worried that she would turn out like me instead of my ex. This still concerns me a bit from time to time because I tend to form habits in life, and there not always postitive habits. I haven't seen this trait in my daughter so all is good so far.
As for her mothers traits, she has developed some of them as well as new traits that are in direct response to both inherited traits of her and mine. To elaborate, it always stressed me out when my ex was moody and I'd pretty much try to stay out of her way. All this did I think was allow her to be moody all the time. My daughters different in this regard and I'm very envious. If you're acting like a tard around her or being bitchy, she has two courses of action in her arsonal:
1) she'll provoke the situation or create a new one just to upset you more because, lets face it, you deserve to suffer for taking it out on your loved ones constantly and repeatedly.
2) she'll ignore the situation regardless of how mad you get.
The best part is that neither of her reactions to the situation phase or build up on her. Most stuff just rolls off my daughters shoulders because she refuses to carry the weight and I love that about her!
As for the not being in love with her mom, that's a real tough one. I simply can't say whether or not I loved her mom. I loved the fact that she birthed my child, but does that mean I loved her? I was exhausted all the time, worked two jobs, came home trying to make her happy, etc. My ex was my central occupation in life for a while and I can't say with any accuracy whether I loved her or not. I know I did love her at one time, but that was before she was even pregnant. I also know that I stopped loving her but really can't pinpoint when that happened.
Does any of the above actually make any sense?
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