Chaos, I read your initial posting yesterday morning and on the way to work, and the two positive things I wanted to say to you! You say you practically raised your daughter, to me that sounds like you are a good, loving father who is there for his little girl! That already is tops in my book!!!!
You also added how hard you are trying to get a job and not giving up, how great is that when you are trying at the same time to fight depression and a breaking heart!
All I ask at this very, very difficult time for you is that please "Keep Your Power", don't give it away to your wife even though you love her dearly! I know from what I speak, I'm a grandma (but I'm not old) who gave her power away constantly and it is not a happy place to be. My children suffered because I gave my "power" away! Well, Chaos, as soon as I got it back life took on an incredible, new meaning for me! When you have your "power" no one, even your most loved ones, can't hurt you as badly anymore! We all have that "power", but some of us don't learn it until way into our lives!
Once you realize you have it, and you feel different, you will be able to handle whatever life brings! That doesn't mean that you don't cry, or scream to the walls with your pain, you have to do your grief process...but underneath...when you Know how strong you are...you'll make it through....and we're all here behind you!! May God Bless you, and my positive thoughts are with you this weekend!!!
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