My dad's to tied up in what happened with my mom, how the seperation affected him and how wrong she is. My mom doesn't know what's going on, she's the one who left and is more mixed up then anyone. They were never stable people to begin with, there was physical abuse in my family which they have apologized for but that doesn't make the hurt go away.
I know I love them, I just don't feel anything and I think I'm mad that they split up. What really pissed me off was when they'd call me and tell me what the other said or was doing, during that period I wouldn't talk to either one for the longest time and I think that continues a bit because of that. They need to work out thier own problems and quit trying to drag me into it.
I moved away from home about 4 years ago and it's the best thing I ever did, so much stress left my life once I was on my own. I enjoy being able to do things on my schedule and just live life one day at a time without the stresses of family obligations and responsibilities. When I was younger I spent a lot of time with my mom, was sheltered in a lot of ways and it had some negative affects on my social skills all the way through my teens. It really wasn't until I left home and stopped trying to be the perfect person living the perfect life that I started to just live and enjoy being me.
I guess these things happen and I'll learn more and appreciate them as they and I grow older, but at this moment I'm just glad to be away from them. It seems like I'm being such a jackass towards them but I guess as much as I thought I was, I'm really not over the past in some ways. It's not that I haven't forgiven, I guess I just haven't forgotten and don't want to be hurt again.
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