[Paul]

I don't like my family. Besides being being related we have nothing in common and I honestly don't feel anything for either of my parents or most of my relatives for that matter.

After having spent a childhood and my teen years trying to please them, I've grown up to see how they demanded so much from me, almost to the point of perfection, and yet their lives are in shambles. Since they split up and subsequently divorced, I've lost a lot of respect for them and I don't call them, ever. They occasionally call me and I hand it off to my brother or make an excuse, I have a hard time facing them, it's really sad.

My brother and I get along now but that was previously born out of necessity. He was my only friend at times when I was younger and he's a good friend now, we've shared a lot of experiences and we both have the same resentments and hurt towards our parents.

The thing is they love us very much, I know this but I don't return it, it's really strange. I wish I did love them like I should but I don't feel anything. I think it'll change as I get older but sometimes I wonder if it won't be to late.

My relationship with my dad really reminds me of that song by Ugly Kid Joe:

The cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man 'n the moon.
"When you comin' home?"
"Son, I don't know when. We'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."

Which turns into:

I've long since retired, my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
"I'd like to see you, if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I could find the time.
You see my new job's a hassle and the kids have the flu,
But it's sure nice talkin' to you, Dad.
It's been sure nice talkin' to you."
And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.