Letting Things Go
I figured this might be a good section to talk about this. There was a girl I knew a couple of years ago, I guess had a crush on her. Me, her, and another friend of ours (Chris) hung out a lot, but as the year went on we all just grew apart I suppose? She said she just found me annoying eventually and stopped talking to me. Ever since then, I couldn't help but check up on her online a lot. It's been a really long time since then, but even to this day I still try to check up on her. It's started to bother me though, I feel like I have to keep checking up on her even if I don't want to and I still think about her a lot. I don't know why she thought of me the way she did, but Chris said she was just a bad apple. He said had it been ANY other girl, I could have gone places. In some ways I don't want to believe she is a bad person though, and I don't think she is. I don't know why she thinks of me the way she does or hates me as she said she does. Why do I deserve that? I admit, I am socially immature in some ways, I've always been a shy, queit person, but everyone says she shouldn't have treated me as poorly as she did, that you don't treat a person who is socially immature that way. I also keep wishing she would talk to me again and thinking if I had acted differently, would she not dislike me anymore. I had always thought she was like similar to me, which is why I liked her, but I guess she isn't. Still I check up on her, think about her, and every time I see a picture of her, I worry that someone one day is going to try and take advantage of her, espcially since I found out she has a new boyfriend. I've been told I should just forget about it and move on, but I can't seem to drop it. I don't want to say it's to the point where I'm obsessed, but it seems that way, and I feel guilty about it. I need a way to just make myself stop thinking about it because I don't want it to begin interfering with other things in my life.
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