I talk to my parents about alcoholism once in awhile.
I'll never forget how devestated I was to find out that my parents went out on their anniversary to a nice restaurant and shared a bottle of wine after being sober for years. My mother had been sober for at least 18 years and my dad was for about 15. I sat there beside my dad on my couch and cried. I told them both how disapointed I was in them for even having that first glass and how wrong it was for them to go there again. I let them know how their drinking affected me as a child growing up and how proud I was of them when they did stop and now it was all blown into the toilet.
My mother's logic was that they're older now and they can control it now. I told her she was in denial. It was her idea to have that wine knowing full well that all my dad needed was her approval to have a glass for himself. She started him drinking again.
Well, now my mother has stopped again and is going back to AA meetings but my dad is still drinking. He doesn't drink like he used to by no means but he still is drinking and that bothers me. My mother started complaining to me about my dad drinking with his friend and I shut her down immediately. I told her that she's the one who got him back on it, now she can deal with it. She doesn't talk to me about it anymore since I said that and that's fine with me.
My dad used to drink all day from morning until night every day when we were growing up up until he stopped. I used to go pick him up at the bars and drive him home most times when I started to drive. Now, my dad will only drink one or two beers here or there. it's not an everyday thing anymore and i seldom see him drunk.
I'm still extremely disapointed and I think I always will be but my dad does have some sense of control now that he didn't have back then. I still wish he would quit it completely because just the smell of it on his breath brings back a lot of bad memories for me. I hate alcohol breath. grosses me right out.
__________________
Life is what you make of it. Make it happen.
|