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Guilt. that's where the blaming comes into the picture. The cheater feels guilty so now he or she has to blame the person they are committed to so they can justify their behaviour. This makes themselves feel better about what they have done so the guilt goes away.
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You are so right. When this happened to me, I was mystified why the person doing the cheating was angry at me. But I don't think the guilt goes away, not until they ask for forgiveness.