Heather, the problem is, that you are being punished for something which is beyond your control. Because Noah and you live in the US, you are being skrewed over by the system.
In most Western-European countries, you would have to pay higher insurances, but practically everything can be covered without spending 10s of thousands dollars on the health and well-being of your child of your own. Although there are a few loopholes in these systems too.
If you would work 2 jobs in Europe, you pay higher taxation on your wages, though. But you would be rewarded for your efforts; even though quite a few people chose for option #1.
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