I'll be just as frank as I can be with you right now. I'm staying with him because... I don't have the strength to leave him. My exams are getting nearer by the day and I have to find an internship... Everything changes around me once again and I need this little piece of stability. I'm preparing the interview for my visa for the USA also, it's hactic.
To tell you the truth... he could have done lots worse and gotten away with it. Because yes, because I know I am clinging to him.
Trying hard to find that... peace inside. And since I am unable to let it go, I might just try to make to work. For how long, why, for whom... don't have the answer to that.
All I know is that right now I cannot do it. Don't ask me why. Could be that I love him. Could be because I'm weak... I need ... to be held. I think I am indeed scared to be alone. I would be totally alone and then my ex would have been right. I have made all this efforts for nothing, as I am a foreign girl in a foreign land...
It's like I'm divided into two: I don't know what I really want and what really makes me happy.
Thank you for shedding some light here. Merika... you're right about people ending up marrying those whom they date... Heather, I'll be sure to take my pill every day, don't worry.
I think I should just think about all that happened for a while...
Thanks again, everyone.
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