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Originally Posted by Duke
on the way home that the only family member that I have that I really care about is my daughter. We all know how I feel about my father, well I'm not so wild about my brother and I actually hold some resentment toward my mother for staying with her substance abusing husband (my dad).
I'm starting to think I'm the worlds biggest jerk.
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Maybe you're almost ready to put all that behind you, in the past where it belongs. It is the best place for it so that you can move forward. Forgiveness can heal a lot of things.
I used to ask myself why my mother stayed with my dad then asked why my dad stayed with my mom. I realized that it wasn't any of my business as to why because it wasn't my relationship. It was theirs. There had to have been love there if they stayed together. It was a huge hurdle they had to jump and they did it. They succeeded. That's a huge accomplishment as far as i'm concerned. I'm very proud of both of my parents for pulling through their troubled times together. I can't say that I would've been strong enough to do the same if it were my marriage.
In al-alon, you either learn to live with the alcoholic or live without. Either way the person chooses, they teach you how to do that in a healthy way. I don't regret going to al-ateen and al-anon. It brought a lot of issues into perspective for me and i was able to forgive my dad for his drinking. It helped my mother to learn to live with him, to accept him and the things that she cannot change. One day at a time.
You're a guy who still holds a lot of pain from your childhood. That doesn't qualify as being a jerk. That just means that you have unresolved issues, that you will at some point in your life, will have to deal with and put them where they belong.