I think your wife has some issues and is blaming work for them. The fact that she doesn't seem to want to communicate is bull regardless of how tired she is. It's not the way to a healthy marriage IMO.
I know that there's a certain amount of work to every relationship but it sounds like both of you are going through changes that your either marginally comfortable doing or not happy with at all. How is that going to fix things after your both fed up with trying to please each other without pleasing yourselves? I think in time all it's going to do is make the situation even worse. Just an IMO.
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