To tell you the truth, Paul, I grow up having the same convictions as you you do, in the sense where I wanted to be pure before getting married.
That and my wish that never ever will anyboy call me ****. So I wanted to "cut" the evil from its root. Then when I was 19, I met my ex. I did stand on what I was believing in for a while.
Then he said that this relationship was either to evolve or die. He was 4 years than I was and had already waited 6 months. In one way, he was right. We were saying words like "forever" "love" "kis" etc.
My point is that I understand your view on sex. To me is extremely meaningful also. It ties you up to a person immensely. That what my nightmare. That it will end up controlling me. But you master it. Trust me, you can.
Back to your problem... not all people feel the same way about this. Paul, my ex bf who loved very much wanted to leave me after 6 months. Maybe I was weak for giving in. I don't know. Maybe I really really trusted he was the one. For those who did start their sex life, giving up is not something that's that easily done :wink: .
What I know is that it's very very rare to be able to have relationships and stick to your believes. Call me a cynic, but... it was a bit predictable. You were in a long term relationship, but it was the beginning of it. If you were that serious about her, it doesn't mean that she was that serious about you back then.
You are over analysing it. The truth is, Paul, it happened a long time ago an it regards something, one aspect of her life that you cannot fulfill. And that is real. I'm not saying she is or was intittled to be cheating. All I'm saying is that maybe you're a little bit too hard on her. An on yourself for that matter
