What the Jewish Buddha says:
What the Jewish Buddha says:
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* The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single
"Oy".
* If you wish to know the way, don't ask for directions,
just argue.
* Take only what is given. Own nothing but your clothes
and a begging bowl - unless, of course, you have ward-
robe space.
* Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your still-
ness be as a wooded forest. And sit up straight or
you'll never meet the Buddha with a posture like that.
* There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you
never visited, you never called and you never wrote.
And whose fault was that?
* Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage, however,
is another story.
* Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions.
But also be aware that not every physical sensation
is a symptom of a terminal illness.
* Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.
Forget this and attaining enlightenment will be the
least of your problems.
* The Tao has no expectations, it demands nothing of
others, it doesn't speak, it doesn't blame and doesn't
take sides. The Tao is not Jewish.
* Drink green tea and enhance your life. Experience
joy with the first sip, satisfaction with the second
sip and a Danish with the third sip.
* The Buddha teaches us that we should practice loving
kindness to all sentient beings. Still, would it a
crime to find a nice sentient being who happens to
be Jewish?
* Be patient and you'll achieve all things. Be impatient
and you'll achieve all things faster.
* In nature, there is no good or bad, better or worse.
The wind may blow or not. The flowering branch grows
long or short. Do not judge or prefer. Ask only, "Is
it good for the Jews?"
* To find the Buddha, look within yourself. Deep inside
you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten
thousand times and each blossom has ten thousand petals.
Maybe you should see a specialist?
* Let go of pride, ego and opinions. Admit your errors
and forgive those of others. Relinquishment will lead
to calm and healing in your relationships. If that
doesn't work, try small-claims court.
* Though only your skin, sinews and bones remain, though
your blood and flesh dry up and wither away, yet shall
you meditate and not stir until you have attained full
enlightenment. But first, a little nosh.
* Accept misfortune as a blessing. Don't wish for
perfect health or a life without problems. What
would you talk about?
* The Torah says, "Love thy neighbor as thyself." The
Buddha says, "there is no self". So maybe you're off
the hook. If there is no self, whose angina is this?
* My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves
completely.
* Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness.
And then what do you have? Bubkes (Something trivial,
worthless, insultingly disproportionate to expectations).
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