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Originally Posted by YellowLioness
did you see anywhere about "ability to save money and buy fiance engagement ring, or get out of our current living situation? (our neighbors got busted for creating a meth lab in the back of their car. *big, unhappy, suburban-raised-girl sigh*
Oh, and lack of personal ambition.
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HAHA Fayebelle.....I sold my first engagement ring to my Dad so I could buy a color TV and a pool table. A ring didn't mean that much to me. Howevr, it means a great deal to a lot of other women. Maybe he doesn't understand the difference between the two. Sit him down and say 'LOOK....I can't wear a decent place to live on my finger!'. Be blunt and perhaps he'll begin to understand.
Now the lack of personal ambition can be a point of contest for years to come. It's something you see as a character failure (same as I would) which can cause you to know a part of him you don't particularly respect. (Such as in Samson's marriage problems). It's probably not a characteristic you will ever change in him....so you have to weigh out if you can live with it. The way you feel about it now in terms of overlooking it ...and the way you'll feel about it after having 3 kids with him....may not be one and the same.
Financial cohesiveness is VERY important in order for a marriage to work. You don't have to have lots of money.....but you have to agree on how to budget what you have and plan together on how to make more of it.
I don't mean that in a cold way. Most people divorce due to the initial stresses of financial problems. I think every couple , early on, should sit down and make a plan together. It's okay if the plan is changes or doesn't work....then you make a new plan. The emphasis is making any plans as a team. If he goes one way and you go another way....it's a recipe for disaster.