Star, I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. There is no worse pain than that which a child can inflict on your heart. No matter what they do or say, you will always love them unconditionally, and they count on that, sometimes to the point of taking advantage of it. But like you said, there is a time when enough is enough and you have to do what is best for you and the rest of the family.
There is nothing harder than "tough love." I went through a few bouts of that with my son Jason. Kicking him out of the house was the hardest thing I ever had to do and I thought I would never stop crying and thinking I had made a huge mistake. But, luckily for us, it woke him up and made him do some quick growing up. Later, when he asked to come back home, it was on our terms and he understood that we would not hesitate to kick him out again if he didn't follow our rules. It doesn't work for everyone, but sometimes it is your only option.
I think you have a very good handle on doing what is right with your daughter and your granddaughter. They are very lucky to have you! Sooner or later they will both realize that.
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