Most parents dread it and try to forget it but it doesn't detract from the fact that sooner or later, you must have "the big talk" with your child. As a parent, I have first hand knowledge of how difficult it is to imagine your baby engaging in intercourse with another person. The problem is that my dread of this eventual certainty should not mean my child is left in the dark when it comes to understanding her future desires. Quite honestly, I believe this to be one of the biggest factors for parents putting off the big talk with their children.

I'm no expert in this field but I can tell you that as the father of a 12 year old girl, I'm not afraid to discuss this topic with my child simply because I refuse to wait for the big talk. In other words, I personally do not believe in the big talk, I believe in hundreds of "little talks".

I saw an excerpt from an Oprah Winfrey Show where the topic was child pregnancy. This was a few years ago now but I was struck by the age of some of these mothers-to-be as they were around the ages of 10 and 11 years old. Prior to seeing this disturbing clip, I wasn't even aware that a girl could get pregnant at that age but rest assured it is possible. After hearing that disturbing little factoid, I decided right there and then that I would not wait to have the big talk with my daughter, I was going to start with watered down talks long before the age of 10.

I can't pinpoint the exact age my daughter started to talk about boys and what this boy did at school today, but I used it as the vehicle for our first little talk. If you stop to think about it, there are many catalysts that allow you openings to talk with your child which will lay the ground work for the big talk later in life, assuming you believe in the big talk. Maybe little Jimmy decided to share his milk and cookies with your daughter today or perhaps little Sally gave your son a peck on the cheek in the playground at recess; both examples of great opportunities to talk to your child about attraction.

Personally, I think it's in your best interests to face the fact that your child will have these desires but not to assume that your child will have these desires when their a teenager. Putting off the big talk with your child until the time they hit their teens is like juggling with plastique; sure everyone around you is amazed at your skillful handling until you drop the ball and blow your bl00dy legs off. 

There are a lot of resources online that give insight into how to have the big talk with your child. The problem with many of these resources is they seem to promote the big talk which is just plain idiotic. If you wait, it's extremely likely you'll have the big talk too late and you'll be so uncomfortable with the topic you'll likely do a lousy job of discussing it with your child.

The best resource I've found to date is published at talkwithkids.org. This site actually seems to acknowledge early education is better as can be seen published in talking with kids about sex and relationships. This is a very good article from what I consider to be a great online resource for discussing tough issues with your child.

I'd also like to add some other things that I believe are important when discussing relationships and the eventual link between emotional and physical attraction:

• Waiting until the "appropriate age" is not possible, all children develop differently; better to be too early than too late.
• Abstinence is the stupidest value you can try to push on your child.
• Don't go hard core but don't "Disney Down" your Sex Talk either, your not fooling anyone but yourself.
• Don't push your values down your kid's throat. Just because it was right for you does not mean it will be right for them.
• Do not under any circumstances, get mad or belittle your child for enquiring about sex. All your guaranteeing with this course of action is that they will likely never confide in you again with anything of a sensitive nature.
• Remember, their not you so they may not think like you, in fact, bet on it.
• Talk to your child often and talk about everything. Regular communication with your child is mandatory and will help them in the future when they need to discuss things of a more personal nature.
  

Personally, I think it's important to start talking early about sex to your kids so by the time your both ready for the big talk, your both comfortable with the topic. If your child is still a toddler I'm sure you're safe but waiting until their tweens, teens or in their early forties is much too late. Remember, the longer you wait, the more likely it is that this could be your child.

Lastly, I'd like to add that this is not a daughter only topic; it takes two to make a baby or one hell of a miracle.

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