Attracting the opposite sex is a topic that really can't seem to get enough exposure. Regardless of how much is written on attracting the opposite sex, the mystery still remains and probably always will. It's almost comical how many people get hung up on attracting a mate that they actually lose site over the little things that make you attractive to the opposite sex in the first place. I sometimes wonder if the real issues center more on our own agenda that we actually stop hearing what the opposite sex has to say. 

There are literally thousands of sites online that touch on attracting the opposite sex in one way or another. I'm not here to preach or regurgitate what has already been over explained, just touch on some common sense approaches that worked for me and some friends of mine. While none of us have any obvious physical deformities such as 3 arms or a huge hunch on our backs, we are by no means super models or runway material. We're just average Joe's that happen to get along easily with the opposite sex and it's easier than you think, believe me. 

Now I hate doing this but I’m going to add my disclaimer. Since I’m a guy, I can really only speak to what went on in my mind and the mind of some of my peers. I am not claiming this is the “end all” or “one stop cure for loneliness” but I do know what I’m about to say did work for me. The funny thing about this entire story is that it was such an insignificant change I still can’t believe it made a difference in attracting the opposite sex.

I will endeavor to get some feedback on this article and link to it at a later date. I hope to get some input from the ladies of this site to either add or detract from the validity of this article and write on it as well.

Now that that’s out of the way…

...like most guys, I started noticing women when they started budding (for lack of a better word). Up until this time, I had just as many girlfriends as I had guy friends but their changing bodies (and mine) brought about changes in my thought process. I didn’t realize it at the time but my thought process was changing due to breasts and even to look back on it now I still laugh.

Simply put, the more the women around me developed, the more my thought process regressed. At some point in my youth I went from chumming around with the opposite sex, to being horribly timid around them. I suspect that I’m not the only person who ever felt this way about the opposite sex, but unlike many people (of all ages) I grew out of it.

Now I’m sure that one simple adjustment in mindset brought about more changes in my actions but I still attribute my success with the opposite sex to treating them overall as if they were the same sex. Now I’m sure you’re either right there with me or rolling your eyes by now but consider the following (assuming you think I’m out to lunch):

- eye contact is directly proportional to the size of a woman’s bust line.
- it’s hard to listen when all you can think of is what the opposite sex looks like naked.
- most importantly, if the top two have you distracted, it’s likely the fire down below is doing nothing to help.

Throughout high school, this was my problem. I did have a few gal pals but nothing you could really call a girlfriend and I believe the above reasons are why. Attracting a girlfriend was something that happened only twice throughout my school career and in both instances, I was too afraid to actually pursue possible relationships. One day, I just decided to treat the gals around me as if they were guys and the next thing I knew, I had a full dance card.

Now aside from the change in mindset, I can pretty much nail down what the side-effects were once I made the mental adjustment as described above:

1. My eyes were now focused where they should be, her eyes (until she turned around lol).
2. Since I was no longer thinking of sex all the time, I actually listened to what she had to say.
3. My posture, speech, and presence both one on one and in a crowd, became more open, inviting and interesting.
4. My confidence grew.
5. I made sure to wear a smile whenever possible.

Aside from the above, I didn’t dress differently, change my hairstyle, work out, or read articles on “pretending to be sensitive”. I simply stayed the way I was but changed the way I thought of the opposite sex. From this day forward, I was attracting gals left, right and center with far less effort and stress than when I was afraid of the opposite sex. 

Science tells us that men are the more physical where women are much more in touch with emotions. For evidence of this you need look no further than children. Usually the girls are showing their nurturing and caring nature by playing with dolls while the boys are either taking stuff apart or wondering what it looks like when you put a match to it. What Science fails to educate us on is if we want to communicate effectively with the opposite sex, we need to find a middle ground to connect on. 

Here are a few other things you may want to consider if you're serious about attracting the opposite sex:

• How can someone love me if I can't love myself?
• Do I listen or am I too busy thinking of something to say while the other person talks?
• Do I ask open ended questions inviting a response and thus, conversation?
• Am I sincere or do I just want him/her in the sack?
• Rejection from the opposite sex is the same as a job interview. So what if you don't get that job, there's better ones out there anyway.
• Don't try too hard; you'll end up chasing even the interested ones away.
• If you’re kind and sincere, be yourself, if you’re an @sshole, be someone else or do us all a favor, practice celibacy.

It's not Rocket Science folks and the minute you stop thinking of it as such is the moment you find success attracting the opposite sex.